


Rebirth of An Order

by Thinwhitedutchess



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: And Romance, Angst, Canon Compliant, Completed, F/M, Fluff, Knights of Ren - Freeform, Kylo Ren Redemption, OC Relationships - Freeform, Original Character(s), Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Slow Burn, Smut, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Spoilers, Supreme Leader Armitage Hux, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, The smut has arrived!!!, There will be sex, head canon, theSE TAGS SUCK, tw mentions of rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-04-05 15:42:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 36,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14047506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thinwhitedutchess/pseuds/Thinwhitedutchess
Summary: A month after the battle of Crait...After the death of Leia Organa...Rey has been resisting the Force Bond, if only for the sake of her loyalty to the resistance. But when an unexpected death occurs and the future of the resistance is put into her hands, she doesn't know who to turn to but the one person she has ever felt understood her. When an unexpected alliance is created, she is given yet more insight into the future of the galaxy, and her own future with the new Supreme Leader...Supreme Leader Kylo Ren fears that he is becoming more and more like his now dead tormenter, but he cannot deny what exists between him and Rey. Nor can he ignore the darkness and regret that haunt him the farther he damns himself by his actions with the First Order.Death, anger, love and the rebirth of something new.





	1. Only In Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> I have never written Fan Fic before and I am terrified. If just one person reads this, whether they like it or not, it will all be worth it. But I hope someone at least enjoys this. Thank you...

 

Rey exits the Millennium Falcon and is assaulted by the bitter winds of the Unknown Region planet which currently houses the Resistance units. Space had been cold indeed, but she had forgotten how it felt to be truly without sun, without light. 

Odd that this should be the last bastion of hope for the Republic. For the Galaxy.

She is late so she rushes forward, hands raised against the onslaught of snow and condensation. Ahead she spots Poe, wrapped in an obscenely ill fitting puffer coat, hood pulled up against his mass of dark curls.

She would laugh. She would laugh but for the reason of her early return.

The thought stops her short and she can't tell if the tears in her eyes are only because of the dry air that surrounds her. 

Leia Organa.

She remembers the funeral for Han. She doesn't know exactly why this one feels so much more. So much more yet so much less. 

Han had had his wife. His friends, a strong Resistance filled with vision for the future. A funeral pyre that engulfed him as if he were a star ready to return to his heavenly bodies.

Leia will be buried under snow. Flames are near impossible on this planet. Unless of course someone is willing to risk destroying a valuable air craft. No one is, they are strapped for supplies as is.

Poe suddenly recognizes Rey stopped in the middle of the frozen winds. Barely dressed for a brisk day on a planet in view of sunlight, much less so for this frosty hunk of rock. 

She sees that he is about to move toward her and she wills her body to react, to pick up her dropped sack, to go forward, despite the ice in her blood that has nothing to do with the cold..

When she feels the familiar weight of a body, of unending warmth.

Finn is holding her. Solid against the oncoming storm. Unrelenting in his love.

"Rey" He says. And there is no expectation there. Just simple, uncomplicated love. The love that is felt by a friend who knows that his actions do not always need return.

"Finn" She chokes out.

And they collapse in the snow. In the middle of Leia's funeral preparations they collapse. 

Poe does not try to disturb them, busy in the direction of the tribute to his former General. But he wishes he could....

He wishes they had that sort of time.

 

 

 

Leia's funeral is brief. No one in the Resistance can truly withstand the cold, despite their obvious respect and admiration for the former General.

So the real ceremony comes in the wake. Well, wake as after party. All anyone really seems to want to do is drink. 

And drink they do.

In the comfort of the ship, without the expectation of speeches (which there were, only cut short by breakdowns and tears) conversation about Leia's legacy is really directed, loved and appreciated.

There are still a lot of tears.

Rey watches form the corner, Finn clutching a glass as if he wouldn't mind bleeding all over its shards. Rose holding his other hand, somehow sturdier than anything Rey could ever offer him.

She tears her gaze away only to find Poe, newly titled General (though she had seen him flinch away at being addressed as such at the funeral), hunched over with none of the irreverent wit she has come to expect from the  obscenely beautiful man.

But Kaydel is holding him like a vice against her. And though Poe does not cry, does not shed a tear, he seems to lean into her as if she were the only tangible thing in the entire dark, rusted room.

And that is suddenly too much for Rey. Not bothering to bid anyone goodnight, she simply sets down her third glass of the night and slips away without a sound, she had barely interacted with anyone all night anyway.

 

In the soundless comfort of her own room, she relents. She has been avoiding all mental connection with him for 30 days, but tonight is too much. He is the last vestige of Leia Organa. Or at least that is the excuse she allows herself.

 

And he is there. 

Or rather she is somewhere else.

In a dark metal room, with an upheaved bed, a dented table and shards of glass drenched in brown liquid covering the floor. 

And there is blood, blood that she knows to be his. Thus is the depth of their connection.

She finds him. Hidden under his cape, hands pressed against the sharp, cluttered floor.

He sees her before she can speak, though he seems to look through her.

"Now you come." He speaks without inflection, he looks away though not too quick for her to miss the wretchedness of his face. Scar redder than before, eyes heavy with the want for sleep. For oblivion. 

"Now you come, that I am truly alone." He stands to his full height, Rey does not move though he approaches, far too close for normal human interaction. 

"What happened?" He bites out. Short. Abrupt. But his eyes brim, she sees it and he knows she does. 

"Ovarian cancer. She was in pain. But it wasn't because of you. It would have always happened." She is reciting facts. Facts are safe, they are simple.

She can see him looking past her, as she finally allows herself to collapse into the first firm surface she can find. Not obviously. It is only a centimeter perhaps to her left. But he will not look her in the eye. He knows his defenses fall flat with her but in this moment he can't break away from them. So engrained is he in his solitude.

"I didn't know" He says, so quiet. "I did not know she was sick"

"She didn't want them to fix it. She wanted to leave, she was ready." Rey didn't understand it anymore than Ben does. Anymore than Poe did when he explained to her the final days leading up to Leia's death. A lessening of her control over the progress of the Resistance's forces. More responsibilities given to Poe, more pressure for Rey, The Last Jedi, to live up to her title. Rey let the resentment go. She did not know what it was like to live through so many deaths, so many losses, so many (and she promptly pushes this thought away) failures. 

Ben is staring at her, she seated on one of the few chairs left standing. Him looming but with no malice in his eyes.

"How long can you stay?" he says, and the hope is clear to her even if he tries to counteract it with his balled fists, his dead eyes.

"As long as you need" She doesn't know when she started crying.

He kneels before her, hands grasping hers like a lifeline. She kneels to meet him, and they lie down like children on the floor covered in the evidence of his violence. 

His heat meets her body and she strips out of the tunic, the short pants, the boots and socks, until she is in only her breast-bindings. 

She does not see that his actions synchronize with hers. His armor shed, his cape gone, his pants, shoes. He keeps the socks (of course he does.)

When she awakes she realizes they are in his too small twin bed. His feet dangle off the end. Why he didn't ask for a bigger bed to match his new, and infinitely heightened status, she does not know.

But she realizes that they are entangled, the warmth of skin on skin offering comfort in their loss.

The loss of Leia Organa.

When she wakes again without him, she is cold. And she is also on the floor of her own room. 

She does not bother to move to the bed.


	2. Awakened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the Resistance mourns the death of Leia Organa, The First Order moves forward with its own plans, calling upon a collective of dark side users.
> 
> Though, as General Hux learns, they are not quite what he expected...

Ben was no stranger to nightmares, but if ever questioned, he would admit to preferring these fevered fantasies over the terror of awakening to an even colder reality. There were only so many times, after all, that one could wake to fear or disappointment or betrayal before the darkness became a more comforting ally.

This morning, Ben had awakened in his bedroom, a ghost where Rey had lain only the night before. His arms tightened around nothing. The memories of another awakening, another loss, another abandonment assaulted him with their grim parallels and he pushed away the images of outstretched hands, red clad guards and a flaming, crimson throne room before the rage could drag him back under.

He stood in that same throne room now, though there was no longer a red sheet covering the floor to ceiling windows. He had also commissioned a round table to be installed in the room. He still had yet to sit the throne that had once been occupied by Snoke. He probably never would.

The grind of iron and an automated locking mechanism whipped him out of his revery.

“Kylo Ren!”

The unsolicited entrance, the lack of proper address, all was a carefully articulated message on Hux’s part and Kylo knew this. He maintained his composure though the muscles in his neck grew taught with the effort. He had been the one to call this meeting after all.

Hux stood at the edge of the table, Kylo at the other end.

“So,” The redhead’s thin eyebrows quirked in disgust “I assume this meeting has been called in relation to the news of the resistance? The loss of Leia Organa will be an even greater hit to their already flagging morale. The First Order needs this victory after the… humiliation on Crait.” Kylo Ren didn’t even acknowledge this new slight on Hux’s part, the reminder of his failure on the salt planet. “ Our forces will not hold against the Resistance as they are,”

He held up his hand in warning as Hux began to formulate his retort. “They have a Jedi on their side. The last Jedi, trained by Luke Skywalker himself. We need more power to be able to go up against their own weapon.”

To call Rey a weapon felt both honest as well as ridiculously wrong. She was powerful, truly the only power the waning Resistance had, and yet she was so much more than that. A beacon, mountain, an undiscovered star. Her presence alone could both create and destroy. She was both. She was everything.

Hux’s grating voice Brough him back to reality. “Well then,” The General seemed to be reaching the end of his patience. “What solution do you propose to fix that… lack of power?”

It was that moment that Kylo sensed it. Power calling to power in recognition as well as warning.

“That is what I called you here to show you Hux.” Kylo spoke calmly

“Show me.” Hux deadpanned. “Well then perhaps you should cease wasting my time, and show me whatever this is you brought me here to see.”

Kylo Ren remained silent as the heavy metal doors burst open, swinging and slamming into either side of the wall.

Three black clad figures strode through, steps synchronized as if they were in the practice of mirroring each other’s movements. Each wore a helmet similar to one that Hux had not seen on the new Supreme Leader in ages. The three figures came to a stop before the General and the similarly black caped Supreme Leader.

Hux had only a moment to take them in.

The tall, thin figure on the left wore a flame retardant cowl over the black armored shirt and pants which the three wore in uniform.

The smaller, sturdier figure on the right wore a large leather jacket with shoulder pads that rivaled Hux's own.

Then, Hux's gaze moved to the middle figure. Hux could sense power, though this sense was more intuition and experience than based on any power that Ren might have possessed. This middle one wore a floor length leather duster that covered most of its body. Though Hux could sense the energy vibrating from beneath. He shivered in response.

The General was startled out of this thought when that very middle figure moved to ignite two glowing red light sabers in either of its hands before kneeling to the floor.

The Left figure followed suit with its own red saber while the one on the right side opted to toss the saber in the air, catching it and kneeling with what Hux thought seemed to be a bit too much dramatic flare.

The three extinguished their sabers, standing with that same eery synchronicity. Hux knew in that moment, that these could be no other but the fabled Knights of Ren.

It was all he could do to keep his jaw from dropping to the floor.

He cleared his throat and willed his voice steady. Kylo Ren may have been these knights master but it was Hux as General whom they would answer to.

"Men," he voiced, silkily, "You may address me as General Hux. I assume that as the Supreme Leader has seen it necessary to call you back here, that you have been filled in on the current situation with the Resistance Scum. In the coming days, you will answer to me personally as your military commander. Is that clear?"

The Knights, whom up to that moment had been as still as steel then moved.

The middle figure nodding to the Knights on either of its sides. In one swift motion the tall, thin knight, and the smaller sturdier one removed their helmets.

Now, Hux's jaw truly dropped.

The taller knight revealed a pointed, pale face, with crystal blue eyes and a long, glossy black mane. The leather jacket clad figure had lovely, heart shaped features, shoulder length, walnut colored locks and a pair of doe like brown eyes which spoke of arrogance and sin.

The middle figure paused to finally remove its own helmet. Its long, russet colored curls tumbled out of the helmet, framing sweat streaked olive skin and a pair of cold hazel eyes.

The three women regarded Hux silently, and he felt his heart begin to pound.

It was the olive skinned Knight who spoke in a tone of cold, lofty derision that rivaled his own.

"Would you like to try again," she paused for a beat, staring him dead in the eye with her own unfeeling gaze, "General Hux?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am updating a week later! I had hoped to do this sooner but life got in the way. Rest assured that I will always update no later than Wednesday!
> 
> On another note...
> 
> I am blown away by the response to this Fic! Thank you so much to every reader, commenter and Kudo-er on here.
> 
> As always, I have no Beta, so please forgive any mistakes.
> 
> Enjoy!


	3. Fighting What We Hate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo confronts his growing darkness while the Resistance moves forward in their fight against the First Order.  
> Rey builds her lightsaber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a day late and I am so sorry! But hopefully the very very long chapter makes up for it.  
> Please forgive my lack of Beta and possible mistakes.  
> Leave comments and Kudos if you enjoy this please! I answer everything and I love all of you.

Kylo took in Hux's humiliation with silent mirth.

The General was apparently without words.

The auburn haired Knight with the floor length leather coat had apparently decided to put Hux out of his misery.

"You may address me as Ayana Lin." She jerked her chin to the tall Knight on her right. "These are Sorena." She then nodded to her left. "And Steka."

Hux seemed to shake himself out of whatever stupor he had been in.

"Right," He responded, drawing himself to full height. "Ladies. As I was saying, you will answer only to me-"

Hux's next words were cut off in a gasp of air as his hands clawed at his neck, skin that had already been red from embarrassment now reddened further as his air supply was cut off.

"I suppose I can not fault you for trying General," Ayana's fingers clenched further as Hux's face turned from red to purple. "You are not familiar with the Knights of Ren of course, so I will attempt to explain it to you. The ladies of the Knights answer to no one. Not the now defunct Supreme Leader, not the newly self named Supreme Leader, and certainly not a weak, hopeless being such as yourself. Do I make myself clear?"

Hux, now released, crumpled to the floor, seething.

"Now, I will give you one more chance to perfect that little speech." Ayana motioned her hand, and Hux was brought back to his feet.

Hux's glare was sharp as he began "You insolent, wretched, FREAKISH-"

The heavy, metal doors opened and hut's body was forced out of the room before the doors slammed shut entirely.

"I don't give fourth chances." Said Ayana to no one in particular.

She moved past Kylo without so much as a glance in his direction, ascending the 3 stairs to Snoke's former throne.

And then she sat in it, one booted foot coming up to rest next to her, as she leaned back languidly as if she had been sitting there her whole life.

"So," She began as Kylo moved to stand before her. "This is where you sliced the old man in half." 

Kylo's eyes widened in shock.

"Oh come now Kylo, no one really believes the girl killed him."

He paused at that.

Kylo had known Ayana. Of course he had. the Knights had been made up of the surviving students of his uncle's Jedi training camp, of which Ayana had been one. She had been weak then. Not proficient with a lightsaber, barely able to control her force powers. She had been kind, gregarious and friendly. She had smiled a lot.

Kylo took in the scowling, angry young woman before him. She didn't look like she had ever smiled in life.

"Ayana" He began, as if attempting to subdue a feral animal. "Where are the other Knights? Why do you have a second saber?"

She smiled now, if what she was doing could even be called a smile, the expression doing something that made her face look very ugly.

She stood, igniting her twin sabers, twirling them before extinguishing them and slipping them back into her coat pockets.

"They were detained"'

Kylo felt his blood boil. Whoever Ayana had become, she was violent and reckless, unpredictable. The disrespect extended beyond Hux, toward himself and the obviously now dead Knight who had formerly owned that saber.

Beyond this anger he felt something sour and pressing. Some prevailing memory. Of the young woman she had been, of the twisted creatures they had both become. 

H knew the culpability to be his own and he welcomed the bitter familiarity of it.

"You will address me as Supreme Leader." His voice lowered as he spoke. "And you and your fellow Knights will return to your ship until I give you any further orders. Is that clear?"

"And I thought that I had made myself clear earlier." Her voice was shrill. "The ladies of the Knights do not answer to anyone, _Kylo_."

His hand shot out, surprising even him, raising Ayana from the ground, struggling breath as she was hoisted into the air.

"You will address me as Supreme Leader."

"No"

Though her voice came out strangled, she still had that horrible smile on her face.

She was enjoying this, he realized with a slight shock. 

Kylo did not want to push further, he didn't want to actually damage the girl, not the way he did with Hux.

He turned toward the other two Knights, watching wide eyed from the back of the room.

Steka appeared anxious to say the least, but she was at least maintaining her composure.

Sorena on the other hand, had not been able to hold in the tears that glistened in her light blue eyes.

Kylo moved his gloved fist, raising Sorena into the air across from Ayana. 

Immediately Ayana's face softened, a human expression gracing her soft features.

"Ayana..." Sorena managed to gasp.

"Ok!" Ayana screamed over the other girls stuttered breathing. "I submit! Please... let her down."

Both girls fell to the floor, sucking in air in rapid gusts. Steka moved toward Sorena, kneeling down beside her.

Ayana remained on her knees, unable to make eye contact with Kylo.

"I submit, Supreme Leader." She spat blood onto the already red floors and Kylo saw that she had bitten her tongue at some point. "May we return to our ship?"

He nodded and the three girls took their leave.

He had not wanted to hurt her, any of them. But in order to survive he would have to maintain whatever scrap of control he had left.

He stared down at his hands, thoughts of Snoke's torture of Rey filtering in and out of his mind. 

He remembered Rey calling him a monster. 

Perhaps he always had been, perhaps the power that he had so desperately grasped for was pushing him further into that darkness, the deep cavernous thing that he had always sensed in Snoke.

If there was even a part of Ben that rested anywhere within Kylo, it had been maimed beyond recognition. He had killed it, tortured it.

Kylo found that he did not like what had been left in its place.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The mourning period for Leia had been cut grievously short, but of the many things Resistance was lacking, time was their most desperate resource.

In the days following Poe Dameron's new title of General, and the former General's death, the Resistance had gained an unprecedented influx of support.

Wealthy lords and sympathizers with political connections, offering their resources to the remaining fighters. Whether this was due to pity or respect for the fallen former Princess, Rey did not know.

However, the new volunteer crew and credits that were being put toward weapons building meant that a meeting had been called before sunrise only three days following the funeral. Only three days after Rey had spent the night in Ben Solo's arms.

 

She meditated on the memory as she crept through the iced over grounds between the Falcon and the Resistance barracks. 

She had thought that the next time she saw Ben Solo would be with a lightsaber to his pale throat. She had thought she would blaze with hatred, scream his false name in fury.

Instead she had whispered his birth name in comfort, felt his tears fall on her neck, while fire crept from her heart down to her most private organs.

Time and time again the proof of his heart stabbed her like so much rusted steel in her skin. Time and time she was faced with the impossibility of her reality.

That she, horribly, definitively and tragically, would eventually have to kill the only person she had ever loved, because of a choice that had never been a choice. Because it was what was right. Even if it felt wrong.

She reached the meeting hall, which was really just a storage room set up with several rickety chairs, which weren't nearly enough to accommodate the newest Resistance members. 

Rey remained standing.

Poe still looked pale, his usual fiery bravado diminished to only a flicker.

He was seated on the cold metal floor when he spoke.

"First and foremost, I must thank our newest Resistance crew members." He looked like he would be sick right where he was seated, "Actually, thanks is not nearly enough for you. What you have done by joining us cannot be overstated. We would be nothing... _were_ nothing, without you."

Kaydel Connix who had been leaning against a wall across the room from him moved toward him with as much purpose as she displayed when manning the ship for a mission.

She held her hand out to him then, and though he found he could not quite meet her eyes, he accepted it and stood.

"I will now introduce some of our new crew as we will all be working very closely together while we work to restore the fallen Republic."

Rey found herself zoning out as Poe listed the three or four new bombadeers, 6 new ground fighters and one more mechanic who Rey thought looked like he would rather be anywhere but in that cramped room.

Rey could relate.

She shook away the thought. This was important. She had to be present. Despite her own personal conflict and fear, she was vital to the future of the Resistance, if she was going to be a part of this, she was going to be an active part of it.

Rey turned her attention back to Poe who was now introducing the final new volunteer crew member.

"Kohr Mah Hayle will be our newest Med Tech. So..." A hint of Poe's old humor seemed to return for a moment, "Hope your prepared because you are going to be dealing with a lot of half dead patients."

Kohrs already light skin seemed to pale at that. He was on the shorter side, strong but lean like many of the Resistance members, with short dark hair and a slight cross eye.

"Alright," Poe continued, all humor gone. "I did not call everyone here simply for introductions. With our new numbers and our Jedi returned to the bases, now is the time to launch an attack. We need a show of force if we are to maintain our current support systems."

Rey felt cold. It was too soon. To soon after Leia, after she had returned to her friends. To soon after she had last felt him in her arms.

And now here was Poe, including her in his surprise attack plans without even asking for her thoughts, without even calling her by her damn _name._ She was just "the Jedi" to him.

She cleared her throat, all eyes turning toward her.

"I think, Poe," She started. "That this plan seems to be ill thought out and much to abrupt. When exactly were you planning on launching this attack? Tomorrow?"

Poe glared back at her. "Tomorrow or the day after, yes. And we need you to lead out ground forces Rey. You are our biggest asset. You are the key to winning this for us."

Rey was livid. "I don't suppose I have any say in this?"

"You do." Poe replied, voice softening."Of course you do Rey. But I hope that what you will say is that you agree. That you will help us."

Rey would not cry in front of this room of people.

"I haven't even fixed the lightsaber yet..."

"You have time. I believe in you." Poe paused. "We all do."

There was a moment of silence before Poe released everyone to begin preparations for the attack. Rey knew what was expected of her, so she returned to the Falcon to begin.

She had kept her rucksack stuffed in the narrow corner between the ships bed and a wall. 

She pulled out her blaster, a metal flask, and a package of freeze dried grain. 

She stared at the broken pieces lying at the bottom of the bag.

The pieces of Anakin Skywalker's lightsaber.

She had avoided dwelling on the memories of that day in the throne room. The way their bodies had moved in harmony, the music of motion. The way his rage had filled her, driving her own movements to fight, to protect. The way her own hope had not allowed him to submit even when it seemed he would lose the fight.

She supposed she should not have been surprised when he appeared before her. The same massive, black clad form. The same strange, melancholy eyes.

"You haven't fixed it yet."

She shook her head. "I don't know how."

He kneeled down next to her, his large hands strangely delicate as he sifted through the damaged parts.

"You need a teacher."

Her head jerked up at the familiar words, a smile spreading across her face.

"I need a teacher."

It was like the day in the throne room all over again, as their hands moved together, slowly piecing together the broken parts. Ben explaining how to bond with the broke crystal, how to let her own essence fill the weapon so it would be as an extension of her. 

When she ignited it she stared in awe. It was -

"Perfect." He said. His gaze on her as it always was, too open, his desire to palpable.

She extinguished the saber and moved forward, crowding his space. His eyes brushed over her body as she came close, tilting her head up to look at him.

"You know we are coming. Poe is planning an attack."

"Yes. I know." He closed his hands over hers, folding her fingers around the repaired saber.

She could still feel the warmth of his hands when he finally disappeared.


	4. Saving What We Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The First Order suffers a loss at the hands of The Resistance.  
> The Knights of Ren go into battle.  
> Ben Solo's private plans succeed.

In her mind's eye, Ayana sees a little girl. A girl who had fallen in love with the stars.

She pictures the young girl, laid down in her parent's courtyard, silken spirals of hair fanned around her, grinning up at the dark velvet sky. 

The girl would be restless, flickering her fingers at the branches of the Almakian apple tree above her, causing the tree to whip and sway in a nonexistent breeze.

Ayana was so lost in the fantasy - memory? - that she didn't register Sorena's presence behind her.

Sorena exited the ship's shower, still wrapped in her towel. She sat herself on the makeshift cot beside Steka's bedside. Steka's ship was really only built to house one person comfortably but the three of them had made due over the past 24 hours.

When Sorena glanced up to where Ayana stood, staring through the vast windows of the ship, for a moment it seemed that, with her black cloak and long dark hair, standing as she was before the the dark expanses of space, the young woman wasn't there at all.

"Ayana" She did not react to her name but Sorena persisted, "Ayana, it is your turn to use the shower."

For a beat it seemed that she would not respond but then, "I'm fine."

Steka, who had been showered and clothed for the past hour, tossed her tablet down on the bed she was sat on. "For fuck's sake Ayana! You haven't showered in over a day and frankly it's unsanitary. I will not sleep in the same room as you if you don't shower."

Ayana knew it was unsanitary and she felt disgusted. Normally she was able to shower early in the morning, long before the other two women were awake. She was uncomfortable enough with her own nakedness but the thought of someone else witnessing it? 

In the excitement of the past day she had not found time to shower in private, and though she could feel the sweat and grime of the day clinging to her skin beneath her clothing, she knew that there was only one thing she could realistically do in this situation.

"I'll sleep outside."

The protests started immediately as she knew they would, following her as she exited the ship into the main holding cell of the First Order spacecraft.

The last she heard was Steka's girlish yet strangely commanding voice, "She'll be back, she always comes back."

She didn't know how long she sat on the cold, metal floor of the cell, leather coat draped over her lap before she felt the looming presence approach behind her.

"What are you doing out here?" 

Ayana looks up to see the overly tall figure of Kylo Ren.

Though she had known him as Ben Solo back when they had both been young Jedis in training, it wasn't hard for her to compartmentalize the two in her mind.

Ben Solo had been shy, timid even, despite his obvious power. He had been an awkward boy, not quite grown into himself.

Kylo Ren was severe, a pulsing presence whose painful energy she could sense from a distance.

And then there was the ugly scar that bisected his right cheekbone.

She would have to buy whoever did that to him a very strong drink.

"Sorena and Steka told me they wouldn't sleep in the same room as me if I didn't shower."

Kylo didn't really know what to do with that information so he chose to just not address it at all.

"I came here to speak to all of you but since it is mainly you who I wanted to discuss this information with, I suppose I might as well just do it out here."

He paused for a moment. "The Resistance is planning an attack. Within the next couple of days. Your focus when that happens will be the girl, the Jedi."

If Ayana had still remembered how to laugh she would have.

"With all due respect, _Supreme Leader_ ," The disdain in her voice is palpable, "How exactly do you expect _me_ to kill a girl who managed to best _you_ twice?"

He seems to flinch at that, though Ayana can't fathom why.

"I don't," he stutters out, "Expect you to kill her I mean. I expect you to capture her. To deliver her to me. Alive."

Ayana tries to call up her smile. It's a defense mechanism, really. She smiles now when she feels threatened. Originally she had done so to try to placate whoever the threat was, but over the years she's noticed that it seems to work well at making the other party feel as uncomfortable as she does.

"And if she tries to kill me?"

"Defend yourself. But, try to leave her in one piece. As for the other Resistance members, do what you have to do. But your main mission is the girl."

They regard each other in silence momentarily before Kylo moves to leave.

"I just wanted to make sure you were prepared. They are coming."

It is then that Ayana feels the shift, she sees in Kylo's dark eyes that he feels it to.

She stands slowly.

"No," She sees the understanding dawn on him too, "They are here."

* * *

 Poe would not be accompanying Rey down to the First Order spacecraft. Neither would Kaydel or Rose. Finn would be alongside a group of ground force operatives whom Rey did not recall Poe introducing, though she was sure he had.

"You won't be the one in charge. Unless you want to be. We just need you to do what you do and provide support for the crew, ok?" Rey knew Poe was trying to be as supportive as possible but unfortunately what was possible was not that much. She felt desperate.

"This is just an attack to show them that we are still here. We want to goad them into confronting us on our turf." Poe continued, "You won't even have to see the Supreme Leader."

It took everything within Rey not to let the tears fall.

She managed a smile however. "Ok" She could feel Ben's presence in the Force as they approached the craft. "Ok."

There weren't that many of them, only as many as could fit in the small Resistance Ship. They had enacted the cloaking mechanism. No one should have been able to sense them near, but she knew one person would.

She braced herself. 

Ladders dropped from the ship down to the Craft's landing strip. Rey dropped herself down, she used the Force to give her purchase, not needing a ladder for herself.

It was Rey's job to manipulate the Stormtroopers standing guard at the Craft's gate. 

She didn't even have to speak in order to exert her will. Their minds were displayed like the pages of a book, her own desires like an ink soaked pen to their pages. 

She entered the First Order Hangar, with her group of Resistance Members following her lead.

 She wondered, as she had so often before, what it was that separated her in their minds from Ben Solo? She had once believed that the Force was simply a Jedi's ability to control and manipulate, and she had done just that. 

Just as Ben Solo had done to her. 

Just as Snoke shad used to torture her, and she realized, probably used to torture Ben Solo.

She didn't like to imagine how many years Snoke had subjected Ben Solo to his will...

"Miss Rey..."

She jolted at her name, turning to the unnamed Resistance fighter on her left.

She followed his line of sight to a high up wall that seemed to taper into a separate storage area for the smaller TIE Fighters.

She opened her mouth to question the Fighter when suddenly she saw it.

Three dark figures walking toward the edge of the platform, it seemed at first that they were about to jump to their deaths, but they kept walking, landing gracefully on the ground, several feet below the metal wall.

The recognition hit her instantly alongside the terror as she remembered her vision in Maz's Cantina. 

The dark, helmeted figures. The Knights of Ren.

She ignited her saber instinctively as she saw the Knights do the same with their own. This alone seemed to spur the shocked Resistance fighters into action.

And all at once there was chaos.

And Rey let the darkness over take her. The same darkness that had strengthened her against the Praetorian guards in Snoke's Throne Room. The darkness that pushed her to manipulate the barriers between herself and her prey.

The darkness that felt like velvet when she was nestled in the embrace of Ben Solo. Pierced by the desires of Kylo Ren.

An animal cry escaped Rey as she rushed forward toward the figure that held the duplicate red Sabers. The most valuable prey she could sense.

As her own newly made blue lightsaber clashed with the two red Sabers held by the black cloaked Knight, she felt a thrill enter her, escaping her her in a breath of ecstasy.

What was the separation, between the darkness and the light? 

She shook the question away as she launched herself forward in another attack, her blue saber making contact against flesh.

* * *

 

Ayana barely felt the cauterization of the wound at her bicep. She was to entrenched in the thrill of the battle.

She kept eyes on her fellow Knights as Sorena clashed with a dark skinned fighter and Steka battled it out with three different similarly uniformed Resistance members.

Her eyes were only on their Jedi.

She could sense the power within the girl, it rivaled that of Kylo Ren and positively dwarfed Ayana's own.

But that had never mattered before. Ayana wasn't strong in the force and she never had been.

What she was, was desperate.

A clawing, sucking need grew within her. It was the need to win, to dominate.

To survive.

It was that animal impulse that threaded through her, sharpening her gaze and imbuing her with the stamina she needed to lunge, to block, to strike.

It overtook her.

It was only when she heard the familiar shriek that her attention diverted, only slightly.

She saw Sorena disengage from her own target, knocking him out with her elbow, thrusting her helmet from her inky, black head.

Running toward... something.

A darkly clothed heap on the ground.

Steka.

Ayana could not move from the Jedi, she was locked, trapped in the battle. The Jedi as curried with blood lust as Ayana.

But....

Ayana removed her helmet and in one, quick, horizontal motion, mashed the heavy metal into the Jedi's neck, knocking her to the floor.

She sprinted toward her two fellow Knights.

As he came closer, she saw what had happened.

Steka's whole spine had been sliced, upwards toward the neck, blood seeping into the black of her jacket as she struggled to breathe.

Ayana removed Steka's helmet. The striking woman's enormous eyes were open but desperate, flickering.

Sorena was screaming, though what, Ayana could not be certain.

It was that same battle instinct that dove her to stand, raising both of her sabers to her side.

The Jedi and her army already had their attention on the three fallen Knights, surprise and uncertainty written in their features.

She extinguished and dropped her blades, allowing herself to collapse to her knees in submission.

To Ayana's surprise, it was the Jedi, whose eyes met her own, something very soft and human entering into their soft, greenish brown color.

When Ayana had been young, an initiate at Luke Skywalker's Jedi Camp, she had often wondered, what was the difference?

What was that fine line that separated the dark Force users, from their light counterparts?

It was, with that thought in mind that she spoke, eyes firmly on the brunette Jedi, "Please."

"Help her."

"Save her"

"It was never her choice."

"Please," She spoke, on her knees, for what felt like the hundredth, thousandth, millionth time in her life, "Help her. Take me as your hostage, your prisoner. Or kill me. I don't care."

"But Steka," She saw the name break the Jedi down even further, tears glimmering in her eyes. "You have to save her. Don't let her die."

The Jedi nodded at her fellow Resistance members, and Ayana was brought roughly to her feet, electrical cuffs placed on her wrists.

They burned, but she barely noticed as she saw Steka lifted onto a stretcher, Sorena being prodded forward, but blessedly uncuffed by her side.

* * *

 

Ben Solo felt the sound leave his surroundings.

Though he stood in his throne room, he could see before him Rey, from the open door of her Resistance ship staring back at him.

She wasn't alone, which was not unusual, she was always surrounded by someone it seemed. Friends, fighters. That small orange Droid she was so fond of.

But something was different this time.

He felt it, the familiar signature of the Force.

He blanched.

Ayana, Sorena, and weak, but present, Steka.

They were with her.

They were alive.

He kept his eyes on Rey's and he saw her nod, smiling slightly.

He realized she knew. 

If they were with her, they were safe. 

He kept a second thought to himself as the bond closed.

He let his shoulders drop then, comforted by the knowledge that they were with Rey and, for once, everything had gone exactly as he had hope it would.

He smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this Fic isn't the most popular but I was curious whether anyone would want my Tumblr URL?  
> I also have a few songs I like to listen to while I write which I will gladly share if anyone wants them?  
> That being said, every single comment and Kudos I get feels like a blessing!  
> This Fic is... weirdly important to me, and I hope everyone enjoys this chapter. I have never felt my writing come more easily or more smoothly.  
> I adore all of you <3


	5. Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Resistance's efforts to heal Steka do not go as planned.  
> Rey discovers a new power.  
> And Ben deals with some unexpected guests.

Kohr Mah Hayle had never dreamt of being a hero. Even as he was fed tales of brave warriors, soldiers who would defend the galaxy and beyond, daring rescues that would ensure their names were whispered to children in the night. No, Kohr had never particularly identified with those mythic figures, and growing up on the mostly poor, crime ridden planet of Pythia, Kohr had certainly never gone searching for adventure.

But that all changed after the planet was enslaved by the First Order, and most of the planet's wealthier citizens were killed. Kohr had been apprenticing with one of those families at the time, studying medicine. If it hadn't been for the Resistance's interference, he would have surely died as well.

He still had no idea what had become of his own family, probably never would.

So no. Kohr did not know much about heroism, or good and evil. What he knew about, was survival, and how to prolong it.

Perhaps that was why when the enemy was brought before him in the base's medical wing, broken mostly beyond repair, he did not feel the indifference that he knew he was expected to. All he felt was failure.

"A lightsaber wound cauterizes on impact, that is the only reason she is not already dead. Her spine was severed nearly in two. She may not be dead now but she will be within the day. All I can really do is make her as comfortable as possible." He explained to the Jedi who he knew as Rey and the tall, black haired girl who, he assumed was an enemy prisoner as well. 

"What?" Exclaimed the tall girl, straining against the dark skinned Resistance fighter who kept her arms held behind her back. "So that's how it is? You take us prisoner and then you don't even honor your word?! You are supposed to be the 'light side'! She is dying, do something!"

And then she spat at him. Kohr did not know whether to be disgusted or impressed by the occurrence. 

Rey, on the other hand, was not entirely surprised by the dark haired girl's reaction. Yes, they were the enemy, yes they were the Resistance's prisoners, but Rey knew better than anyone that titles like that meant little to nothing. Nobody, Rey included knew what had brought these three women to this point, nor the trials they had had to endure. And Rey couldn't quite bring herself to believe that any of them deserved to die.

Perhaps it was that line of thought that caused her to reach out. To direct her senses to her surroundings in a way she had not since Ach-To. 

Her connection with the Force was still fairly new, but she recognized the familiarity. That feeling of being everywhere and nowhere, of being both without identity and within the chemistry of the people around her.

She felt Kohr's uncertainty, the black haired Knight's panic.

And then the injured girl's pain. She felt within her, how the spine had severed in cracks, and fissures. How those breaks could be knit back together.

She strode forward, unaware of if she was really moving or if she simply felt like she was. She imagined reaching through the injured girls flesh, feeling the bones beneath her fingers, she saw herself fixing the snapped bones as she had fixed the broken lightsaber.

There was a sharp intake of breath that she realized had come both from her and the injured girl, whom she now saw below her, her own palm pressed to the girl's back.

The girl rolled over, sitting up abruptly on the cot, she was hyperventilating and Kohr was racing to affix some sort of breathing apparatus to the girl's mouth, calming her and attempting to lay her back down on the bed.

Kohr turned toward the still shaken Rey, looking between her and the the black haired girl.

"So, that's....a normal Jedi power?"

Rey, who had no idea what a normal Jedi power would look like turned toward the female Knight instead.

The Knight spoke slowly. "It is not a power I have ever seen before. I am not sure I knew about it even when I was in Luke Skywalker's academy." The mention of Rey's former mentor startled her but she said nothing,

"What you just did for Steka," The Knight continued, "Ayana, the one who asked for Steka to be healed, she is hurt too. Could you perhaps, do the same thing for her? Could you heal her?"

Rey hadn't been certain what to expect when they had taken the Knights of Ren prisoner, in all fairness, she still didn't quite know what to make of them. 

What she did know, was that if ever this war was ended, if somehow, she and her friends survived, she wanted to bring Ben Solo home. Even if it was too late to bring him back to his parents, she wanted him to have happiness, a welcoming, a family. 

She did not want to leave him trapped in the darkness.

It was with that in mind that she reached out her palm to the tall girl standing before her, "I am Rey, what is your name?"

The girl grasped her hand, "Sorena."

"Sorena" Rey nodded, "I will heal your friend."

* * *

 

The slice on Ayana's arm wouldn't stop bleeding, even through the thick black armor that she wore. Ordinarily she stitched herself up after a battle but her request for a needle and thread had been ignored, she supposed she wasn't entirely surprised by that, she was a prisoner after all.

What did surprise her however was the creaking of the iron cell doors opening, awaking her from her disturbed sleep. She sat up on the stone bench as two bulky Resistance members grasped each of her arms, forcing her to a standing position. 

Ayana didn't bother to ask where they were taking her. Maybe they were simply going to execute her. She genuinely could not bring herself to care.

_No, hang on just a little longer. Keep them safe. You must keep them safe._

It took her a beat to register that she had been brought to some sort of medical wing on the Resistance base. When she took in, Steka's form on the cot, all other thoughts and fears left her mind.

She tried to move toward the unmoving brunette girl but was rudely reminded of her lack of choice in the matter. The iron arms of the Resistance men were unyielding.

She turned toward the Jedi, "Steka," she spoke softly, "Is she alive? Is she alright?"

The Jedi simply nodded at her.

Ayana could have collapsed then and there, "Thank you."

"Ayana." It was Sorena who captured her attention, tall body held back by her own soldier. "Rey, the Jedi. She has healing powers. She healed Steka. She can heal you too."

The look on Sorena's face was effervescent. And for a moment, just enough time between one breath and the next, Ayana felt that hope too. She imagined being healed, smooth skin covered bones, a vision of the Almakian apple trees. She imagined home.

But it was just a moment, and then reality came back like the edge of a knife. 

Ayana had been a scholar at the Jedi camps. In lieu of being a powerful fighter, she had chosen books, chosen to study the Jedi powers in order to perhaps one day have the relationship with the force that she had seen in so many of her fellow Padawans. Wherein the force was their ally, flowing through them as naturally as their own blood.

She knew of the Jedi healing power, knew what it meant for Rey. Knew what it could mean.

She also knew that she could not be healed.

"No." She said, closing the matter as efficiently as possible." It will not work. I would prefer to return to my cell now."

"You always do this." Sorena was livid, liquid glistening in her icy blue eyes. "You think that by punishing yourself you are being selfless but actually, inflicting pain upon your own body is one of the most selfish things you can do. Do you think that Steka and I don't care? That we don't feel it?"

"Sorena, you do not understand what you are talking about.." 

But her plea was drowned out.

"No! Don't treat me like an idiot, I was a Padawan too! Why are you so afraid to be healed?"

Ayana didn't know if she had always been this angry or if perhaps all of the little aches and pains over the past several years had simply become a part of her identity in a way she had never expected or wanted. But when her temper did make an appearance, it was a nasty demonic thing.

Sorena saw Ayana's eyes grow cold and she regretted her own anger instantly.

"Fine." The voice that emerged from Ayana was unfamiliar.

She flung her arms back, using the force to push back against her captors, her long, leather coat dropping to the floor.

She then stripped herself of her black, armored shirt.

She spread her arms out on either side of her, now clad only in her breast binding.

"Ok Jedi," she spoke in that same, strange, quiet voice. "Heal me."

At first, Rey was struck simply by how painfully thin Ayana was, without the bulky black, clothing. She seemed to be nothing more than papery skin stretched over bone.

The next thing she became aware of, were the scars.

Raised, pink and shiny. Faded white, marring her deep olive toned skin.

A map of pain and betrayal.

Rey reached out and felt all of it, imagining her fingers skimming the partially healed skin, and she began to knit.

Something was wrong though, something was blocking her from the wounds, and as she pulled she felt something begin to rip in the material surrounding her.

But still she could not stop.

She could neither see nor hear.

But if she could, she would have heard Sorena start screaming. She would have felt Kohr attempting to bend her arm back to somehow end her connection to the girl before her.

She would have seen a black, branch like mark begin to grow over Ayana's right shoulder blade, her body somehow rising in the air as a look of complete and total pain spread over her face.

And then the connection was severed and Ayana dropped to the ground. 

For a moment there was silence.

And then motion.

Ayana swung out her arm, flinging the group of Resistance men out of the Med Bay door.

She held her arm out for a brief moment before her two red sabers reached her grasp, and then the heavy door slammed shut and she stood forward.

Rey was lifted off the ground before she had even registered all that had just occurred.

Ayana stood slowly, horrifying in her scarred and now further marred skin.

"Let me explain to you, Jedi." She spoke "Your healing power, only works for those of the light. My kind, the kind who dwell in the dark, will die, if your light touches us. But I guess I'm not dead."

Her fingers skimmed over the black lines on her shoulder.

"This hurts. It feels as if my veins will explode. It is as poison running through my body."

And then Rey was slammed against the wall of the Med bay room. She heard pounding at the doors but she knew no one would get through.

"Did you know that pain makes the dark stronger, Jedi Rey? You have made me so much stronger."

And then Rey was dropped and the doors came open.

Two Resistance men tried to wrench the double sabers from Ayana's grasp, but she flung them back, drawing her dropped coat and shirt toward her with the force. She only shrugged on the coat, sticking the sabers into her pockets.

"I think you know by now that I am only here of my own volition." she gestured to her pockets, "So I will be keeping these. You may return me to my cell."

Before she left the room she turned toward Rey.

"Remember next time Jedi," She spoke, but this time her voice shook. "The dark can not be healed by you."

Rey was relieved to see that Sorena was crying silently at that as well.

* * *

  Ben Solo thought of the Force as a living, breathing thing. An entity that created and manipulated, denied and destroyed.

The dark side often boasted of the opposite. That it was _they_ who were in control of this essence and not the other way around, but Ben knew better.

He knew he was not in control of the force because he had never really been in control of anything in his life.

So when the Force Bond activated itself again, placing him in Rey's quarters (or was she in his?), he thanked the Force. For, even if she was sobbing hysterically when he found her, at least he could be there.

He would be whatever she needed him to be.

So he kneeled at her bedside, head bowed like a penitent. He did not move until she pulled him closer, did not stroke her hair until she brought his hand to the back of her head.

He was nothing but a tool of the force, or maybe, just of her.

She spoke into his chest so he thought he could feel the vibrations in her voice. 

"I hurt someone today. I hurt someone when I was trying to help them."

The pain in her voice could have split his sternum in two.

Because he had hurt plenty of people, had felt the pain and regret. And none of the people he hurt, had he been trying to help.

"It was that Knight of Ren," she continued. "The one with the auburn hair. I tried to heal her. I actually did heal her friend, the shorter one, the brunette. But when I tried to heal her..."

The next wave of tears strangled the words out of her, and Ben didn't know whether to hold on tighter or to pull away.

"Have you ever heard of it? A Jedi healing power?"

"Yes," He replied. "Luke told us about it... back at his camp. It's a power that an ancient sect of Jedi once had. The Grey Jedi they were called..."

She was looking at him then, hazel eyes staring into dark brown ones.

"Rey, it's not your fault. You didn't know..."

"Didn't know what?" She was always so fiery, he thought then, a sun in the darkness, even when the dark threatened to swallow them both.

"Only light Force users can be healed Rey, the dark ones, they will die if you try."

"But Ayana, she didn't die..."

"No, she didn't." And it was that small detail that kept the ever present feeling of guilt, of remorse, of absolute failure, from consuming him entirely.

He was shaken out of his self pity by her warm hand on his face, thumb tracing his scar.

"So, if I tried to heal you..."

"You can't." _You shouldn't, I don't deserve you._

"I'm sorry."

He was grateful for the memory of her lips just touching his, when the bond was broken, and he lay alone on his bedroom floor.

* * *

 

Several hours later he stood hunched over his work desk, several documents and reports stacked before him, eyes tired with and dry from the endless words and repetition. 

It was this state, just on the edge of controlling his temper that Hux found him in.

The General always did have impeccable timing.

"If this is about the decision to remove our troops from the surrounding core planets, I am in no mood Hux."

The General had been pursuing the matter for days now. Ben simply continued with the excuse that the troops would be needed to guard against future assaults against the First Order.

Truly though, the reasoning was much more selfish than that.

He didn't want to think of her crying over him, over her inability to heal him.

He had no such notions that she ever would be able to heal the broken man he had become, but he could keep her from crying, he could do that much.

"No, Supreme Leader." Ben turned at that. There was something off in the General's voice. "It would seem that there are more pressing matters to attend to at the moment."

Ben simply stared at him.

Hux cleared his throat, "The remaining Knights. They have arrived."

Ben pushed past the redheaded man, holding onto every last drop of control he had to keep from sprinting down the First Order's halls.

He could not sense them, how was that possible? Was Hux lying?

"Kylo Ren. "

Ben whipped his head around at that.

"You really need to learn how to cloak your Force signature, Master. Have you really forgotten the lessons you taught to us already?"

There were two of them, one taller and bulkier with a shaggy mane of dark hair and wide brown eyes.

The second, with darker skin and glossy black curls, eyes so dark they looked black.

"Nicolagh," He nodded at the bigger one, before turning "And Adrienn. Why did you not arrive with the women?"

Adrienn cocked one thick brow at that, "Really Kylo? Should you not have questioned the women themselves about that?"

He began walking forward, past Ben who remained still. He would not follow behind anyone.

Adrienn stopped in his tracks, turning. "The women murdered the sixth Knight before escaping on Steka's ship. We were left with a body to clean up and three escapees to chase down. Thankfully their signatures led us here. But it would seem they are no longer here, is that right?"

"Yes." Ben said reluctantly

Adrienn smirked, nodding as if this was information he already had, "And I assume you have no idea where to find them?"

"No."

"We questioned Hux on this, and he seemed to have no idea why our resources were not being put into tracking down three valuable weapons, especially when it seems they were taken prisoner by the Resistance."

Ben did not speak, he was the Supreme Leader, and he would not be intimidated.

"No matter though," Adrienn continued in that jovial way of his, "Nicolagh and I have brought our own ships, we will depart to track down the women tomorrow morning."

Ben stiffened, mind racing, willing the panic not to show on his face.

Willing himself not to shudder at Adrienn's hand on his shoulder.

"Good talk," Adrienn grinned up at Ben, "Master Ren."

Ben watched the two men as they strode down the hallway.

Ben had always known he was a tool of the force. The essence in all things that could be controlled by no one.

He hoped though, that for once, the Force would listen.

Because if he didn't speak to Rey soon, the Resistance would not stand a chance.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am almost a week late posting this and I am so sorry! At least it's a slightly longer chapter.  
> In my defense, this week has been absolutely insane for me and a lot of what's happened has actually caused me to have to reflect on this story and it looks like it's going to be going in a totally different direction that I had planned.  
> Comment and Kudos me your thoughts :)


	6. Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected guest arrives at the Resistance Base  
> Ben tells Rey the story of the Knights of Ren  
> Kylo Ren confronts General Hux.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a day late, again. Ugh.  
> Due to the amazing response last chapter, I am giving you my Tumblr Url! Follow me Here: http://thinwhitedutchesss.tumblr.com
> 
> Also there will be mentions of Bipolar disorder in this chapter and going into it, I just want to say that I personally know someone who has this illness, and all references to it are completely factual!  
> Comment and Kudos if you love me <3

Anyone who has grown up hand to mouth knows what it's like.

You wake up and you are instantly alert. Are you cold? Hungry? In pain? No? Then you are ok.

Steka laid in her cold metal cot asking herself each question until she could verify her safety. 

She still asked herself these questions, the ones she had been asking since her time as a street rat on Pythia. The ones she had asked herself that last morning at Skywalker's Academy, as she had watched the temple burn.

 She opened her eyes, letting out a breath she hadn't even realized she was holding at the sight of Sorena alive and unharmed, fast asleep in the cot next to her own.

Steka's spine was on fire, her breaths coming harshly as if her lungs had been seared. She attempted to sit up only to have her arms braced over her head and a heavy weight drive her bodily back into the mattress.

"No, no way," A low masculine voice came from above. "You have been unconscious for over 24 hours after being brought back from the brink of death. There is no way you are going anywhere until I have had the opportunity to do a full diagnostic test."

It took Steka a moment for her eyes to adjust to the low fluorescent lighting. When they finally did, she took in the young man who was currently leaning over her, strong arms holding her own back even as she struggled to get free. 

The man had short dark hair and a sun kissed complexion, his kind brown eyes were partially obscured by a pair of thick black glasses. Steka realized that the man was slightly cross eyed.

Steka was still fighting to get free of his grip, her injury sapping her of the energy it would take for her to access her force abilities.

"Alright," He breathed. "I know, I know you are freaked out. And you probably have a lot of questions that I will gladly answer for you. But right now you need to trust me ok. I've been watching you all night, monitoring your breathing, giving you steroids to keep you from vomiting in your sleep. I know you don't know me but I would like for you to give me a chance. Can you do that?"

Steka breathed, staring up at his odd dark eyes. Are you cold? Hungry? In pain?

No. She was ok.

"I'm Steka," she croaked, voice hoarse from disuse.

"Steka," He nodded, blushing slightly as he pulled himself off her bed. "My name is Kohr."

They stared at each other a moment before the silence was broken.

"Steka! Oh my god" Sorena launched her lanky body at Steka's prone figure, causing the smaller girl to give a little yelp of discomfort.

"Sorena," She swallowed, "Sorena you are suffocating me." The tall girl rolled over so that the two were nestled together on the bed. 

"What happened?" Steka asked once she had regained her breath.

Sorena filled Steka in on their capture and her recovery by Rey's hand as Kohr ran a round of diagnostics, confirming Steka's health and stability.

"And all this happened within 24 hours?" Steka deadpanned. "Well at least no one died..."

Her eyes widened for a moment, guilt filling her mouth like poison.

"Wait," She looked between Sorena and Kohr. "Where is Ayana?"

* * *

 

They had finally given her a needle and thread to stitch her arm shut. Though she guessed that small act had more to do with fear than with kindness.

Occasionally someone would come by with a piece of bread and water but there were no longer guards posted outside of her cell. Ayana found she enjoyed the solitude.

The cut on her arm still pained her but she barely registered it. She was reminded of how it felt to pinch her skin when given a shot as a young child.The greater pain, making the new sensation lessen.

The marks that had appeared after Rey's attempt at healing reminded her of a blade puncturing deep into her skin, through bone and blood and platelets. It _burned._ So much so that she could barely sleep, barely choke down the little food they gave her.

She needed to train, needed some action to exorcise this pain, this raw, newfound energy pulsing through her.

She knew she was only in prison by choice at this point, but in her mind, this was the better choice. She was safe here, she had no expectations in this place. She could finally breathe.

She was bored.

She was laying on her back on the stone bench of her cot when she felt it.

She stood upright immediately, hands going to her double sabers.

She would recognize that Force signature anywhere.

It was with this thought in mind that she swung her arm out, barred cell doors flinging open with a bang.

* * *

 Rey had already been walking toward the medical wing when she felt it.

A darkness in the force. 

For a moment she thought it was the bond connecting but no, Ben's Force signature hadn't been this dark in ages.

And it was getting closer.

She immediately started toward the large room where the Resistance held heir meetings. 

Thankfully Poe was standing in front of a monitor with several other members when she finally made it there.

"Poe! Sound the alarm, I felt something in the force."

She found herself reddening when the group of fighters turned toward her, staring.

She knew she was something of an aberration to many of them. This strange girl with the power to move things with her mind, to intrude into their very thoughts.

"Rey, what do you mean? What did you feel?" Poe at least took her seriously though he didn't entirely understand her powers. She didn't think she understood them either.

"Someone is coming. A dark force user," She could feel the signature growing more and more clear even as she spoke. "And I think they are close. We must defend the base!"

Poe immediately sprang into action.

"Sound the alarms! I want every fighter on the ground now!"

Rey went to the weapons room, her completed saber safe in a satchel alongside the confiscated ones of Steka and Sorena. She didn't have time to hesitate. They would need all the help they could get.

By the time she made it to the Med Bay, the sirens on the base were sounding at a rapid-fire pace as fighters sprinted each and every way through the hall. 

Sorena was already at the door, apparently about to leave to investigate, Rey simply shoved the saber into Sorena's hand. Steka was already dressing in her armor ignoring a loudly protesting Kohr.

Rey tossed the second saber to Steka, "There has been a disturbance. Something is coming in our direction and they are coming quickly..."

Sorena was already nodding, "We know. We felt it, it's the other two members of the Knights."

Rey didn't even have time to formulate a response to this so she simply nodded and the three women sprinted out of the medical wing with Kohr following close behind.

* * *

 

Ayana walked calmly down the hall, occasionally flinging out a hand to move a sprinting soldier out of her path. She didn't need to hurry, she would know when they arrived and she would be ready. 

By the time she exited the base, she saw that the Jedi girl was already outside with Sorena, Steka and one other unarmed man in light blue scrubs.

"Well why did you follow me out here then?" Steka was saying to the dark haired man.

"Because you are my responsibility and if something happened to you... if you, I don't know, aggravated your injury it would be my problem."

Steka shook her head and reached down, prying she bit of loose metal from the ship before handing it to the man.

"Well, if you insist on following me around, you better arm yourself, you're going to need it."

Sorena saw Ayana walking toward them, "How do you think they found us?" She asked

Ayana shook her head, "I don't know, but they're here and they are going to be angry."

That's when the dark ship finally came into view. 

It landed before the entrance of the Resistance base, front unlocking to reveal a long, metal platform.

Two dark, masked figures came striding out of the ship, down the platform before pausing, taking in the gathered forms ahead of them. 

For a moment there was silence.

And then screaming.

Ayana launched herself toward the shorter of the two forms, double lightsabers already lit, but the cloaked form didn't even move.

Right as it seemed she was going to succeed in ramming her blade right through him, the form held up a hand and with a twitch of his finger, both of her sabers flew out of her grip, and she was suddenly suspended in mid air.

The figure finally moved, stalking toward her with slow, precise movements before removing its helmet.

"Ayana, Ayana, Ayana," A slight smirk appeared on the man's lips, "You know better than to go into battle without your helmet."

* * *

 

Sorena had gone to him immediately.

Beneath his helmet, Nicolagh was disturbingly still, already a bad sign. 

Now he wasn't responding to his name, another check mark in her mind.

"Nicolagh," She said as quietly as she could, "I need for you to take off your mask for me."

She was shocked that he did so without argument. Shocked and concerned.

This concern only grew when she saw his eyes, glassy and unfocused, staring back at her in confusion.

"Nicolagh, do you know who I am?" She asked

It took him a moment to respond, far longer than was normal or acceptable. "Of course I do," He said then with a smile on his face. "You are the witch Adrienn said we had to capture to be burned at the stake."

That was all Sorena needed.

Adrienn was currently distracted with his own torturing of Ayana, so he didn't notice when Sorena barreled into him, knocking him to the ground.

His saber flew out of his grasp as Sorena pointed her own down at his throat.

"What have you been telling him?!" He attempted to use the force to pull his saber back toward him but Sorena simply pushed it farther away from him. "How long has he been having this episode? Answer me!"

 Just as one of the two were about to possibly do something violent and irreversible, Poe's irreverent voice cut through the ensuing battle, drawing all parties back to reality.

"Ok, so I can see that you five are in the middle of a bit of a family feud but would anyone like to fill the rest of us in on what exactly is happening here?"

Rey was the one to respond, "You two," she said gesturing to Adrienn and Nicolagh. "You are the remaining Knights of Ren, aren't you?"

Adrienn took the opportunity in the fresh in calm to pick himself up off the ground and retrieve his discarded saber. "Yes," He nodded to Nicolagh, who was standing with a distant expression as if he had no idea what was happening around him. "We are the remaining Knights of Ren. There was a sixth but this one." He jerked his head at Ayana who had also managed to brush herself off and was now rubbing at her sore neck "This one killed our sixth and then disappeared with the other two women. We have just come from the First Order base but we are not here to fight. We simply want answers and to ensure our remaining members safety."

'Bullshit!" Ayana spat, a trickle of blood leaving her mouth.

"It's the truth," Adrienn said with an infuriating calm. "And you should be grateful that we did go back to the First Order before searching for you, otherwise you would have had to deal with the Supreme Leader himself. Kylo Ren and General Hux are under the impression that we are still searching for you, they will not be looking themselves."

The air was tense with the bounty of information and uncertainty. The Knights of Ren were already so mysterious, however the capture of the original three had not gone at all as expected. There was distrust yes, but also a sort of agreement to leave each side in peace as they dealt awkwardly side by side within the base.

"You understand of course that we can not take what you say at face value?" Poe asked, maintaining eery eye contact with Adrienn

"Of course," Adrienn said with a friendly grin. "And we would be willing to share any necessary information if it means gaining the Resistance's trust. We do not feel loyalty toward the Supreme Leader nor the First Order. All that we care about is the safety of our members."

Ayana, Steka and Sorena took this with varying levels of irritation.

Poe decided to test out this man's word. "You will turn over your weapons to the Resistance, and then you and your friend will be brought into a secure holding cell where we will check over your... information. Understood?"

"Of Course!" Adrienn agreed with that same mask of affability.

Rey however had been distracted by the new man's darkness throughout the entire exchange. The only thing that was keeping her from confronting him directly was the familiarity of it.

That's when she realized that it wasn't Ben who's force signature she was recognizing in Adrienn.

It was Ayana's.

* * *

 

As Poe questioned the new Knights in the secure Resistance holding cell, Rey took the chance to return to the Falcon. There was only one person who she wanted to share these new developments with.

As luck would have it, the Force, for once decided to grant her desires.

Ben looked at her with profound relief, which only served to worry Rey even more.

"Ben, I need to ask you about something..."

He only looked at her with that same knowing expression in his nearly black eyes "They found you didn't they? Did they hurt you." His grip on her arm was almost violent in its desperation.

"No," Rey continued. "But, Ben, I need to know if I can trust them. Any of them. I know you know these Knights from your past, you need to tell me about them..."

 Ben sunk to the floor at that, Rey joining him, placing her own hand on his arm when he tried to pull away.

"After I destroyed Luke's hut, the other Padawan's thought that he was dead. That I had killed him." He couldn't make eye contact with her in that moment, couldn't accept her unfailing forgiveness.

He took a breath before continuing. "Half of the students didn't believe my story, they wanted me to pay for my sin. The other half I think, maybe felt the way I felt with Luke. That he wasn't giving them what they needed. That he couldn't or, _wouldn't_ understand their power. The way that it took from a different facet of the Force than what Luke was comfortable with."

His memories of that night were so vivid, he could almost smell the rusted aroma of blood, the dry, brittle scent of the flames.

"Some simply stood with us because they were afraid to die. In the end, I left with six other students, the only ones who survived. That's who you met Rey, those are the Knights of Ren."

Rey said nothing, she knew there was more to the story.

"Ayana, Sorena and Steka stood with me out of a need for survival. But I fear the passing years may have effected them in a way that I... that they, hadn't expected. When I knew Ayana, she was different, so hopeful, she loved those two girls."

"Nicolagh stood by me for much of the same reason. He has Bipolar Disorder, it's an ancient disease and not a very common one anymore, with our new technologies. But often the cure means that if the patient is Force sensitive, his powers will not survive the treatments."

He looked at Rey then. "Adrienn and Benideene stood by me because they were attracted to the darkness, to the power. I think, actually that it was Adrienn's influence that warped Ayana into what she is now. He was obsessed with her, even at the camps."

He held onto Rey's hands, as if he could pull her toward him, across the Galaxy, through time and space, into his arms.

"Rey," He stared into her steady green eyes. "You can't trust Adrienn."

That was all he said before the connection ended.

* * *

 

Later on, Ben managed to find Hux stalking the halls of the First Order base.

"General," He said, stopping the redheaded man in his tracks. "Report."

The General nearly brushed off the taller man, attempting to continue on his way, "There is nothing, _Supreme Leader._ "

"We both know that isn't true Armitage." Kylo Ren growled. "What of the Knights, any word from them?"

The General turned at that. "That," He said, a newfound strength seeming to possess him. "Is not your concern."

Kylo moved forward, looming over the shorter man. "Everything that goes on at this base is my concern."

"It is not" Hux retorted. "You have decided to make it none of your concern. Why have we not found the Resistance? Where is their Jedi? Where do you disappear to for these long periods throughout the day? Lowering more planetary taxes? Perhaps removing more of our numbers from the Galaxy's nations?"

Kylo Ren stilled.

"You are Supreme Leader in name only, Ren. And you are already walking a very fine line." Hux said through a lowered voice.

He turned to leave then, Kylo still standing straight in the middle of the hall.

"If I were you, I wouldn't ask questions that you do not wish the hear the answers to." Hux's voice came echoing down the long, metal hall.

It still echoed even after Kylo lost sight of him.

 

 


	7. Violent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Knights spend some time training, and things get rather heated...  
> Plans are made for another battle.  
> Ben Solo contemplates a painful sacrifice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS KEEPS BEING LIKE A WEEK LATE AND I AM SO SORRY!!!  
> In other news, mind the new tags, there is discussion of rape in this chapter as well as some rather dubious consent but I just want you all to know that I take everything I write about very seriously and have had personal experience myself in situations like these.  
> This was a difficult chapter to write but that's only because there is a lot of action in the next few!  
> Please comment and kudos if you like what you read!

* * *

It was dark and cold in the hallways of the resistance base as Ayana made her way down the long hallway toward the training room. It had been a long night as it was, with Adrienn and Nicolagh (well mostly Adrienn) hashing out the details of their knowledge of the First Order's inner workings. Apparently the General, Poe, was satisfied with the information they had given him because he had acquiesced to their demands that the other three Knights be assimilated into the Resistance, released from their captive status.

Ayana wished she were still in the holding cell.

As it was, Nicolagh an Adrienn had simply slept on their ship while Ayana, Sorena and Steka had shared a room in the Resistance Base. Ayana had attempted to remain quiet throughout her sleepless night. But the pain had made it difficult. 

What had started as a persistent pounding in her shoulder had swept outward, moving down her arm and further over her chest. When she had glanced in the mirror in the process of changing into her training gear she had seen it. The thin black lines moving over her scarred olive skin.

They were _spreading_.

It was early enough in the morning that she guessed that most of the fighters were still sleeping. She needed to solitude and exhaustion of training to distract from the growing agony of the marks.

It must have been the pain, she thought, the reason why she had not already guessed that Adrienn would be an early riser as well, and that he would also look for the solitude of the training room. 

He was shirtless already despite the fact that he was clearly only at the warm up stage of his regimen. Working through a set up pull ups on one of the bars hanging from the high ceiling. He must have used the Force to have been able to jump so high.

She had already made up her mind to just return to her shared chambers and suffer through a few more hours of sleep when he noticed her. 

"Ayana!", She paused, turning toward the familiar voice.

"Spar with me." He all but commanded, tossing a long wooden staff which she caught with little effort. 

She looked down at the staff, considering. "You know I need to practice with two now." She drew another staff toward her with the Force. 

"Yes, that's right." He says, dark eyes narrowing as he moves into a defensive stance. "And how did you come to have Benedine's lightsaber again?"

She crouched, opening herself to the Force, feeling out Adrienn's mind in the cavernous training room. "You know what happened, and I am sure you know why."

She spun, one staff held above her head to strike out should Adrienn make a move, her other staff connecting with his own loosely held segment of wood. Still she wasn't able to knock it from his grip as he reached out, taking hold of her first staff, twisting her around in front of his lean chest. 

"No," He grits out. "How would I? You three left before I could ask. You left a _body_ behind, Ayana. What were we supposed to think?"

She elbowed him in the ribs, taking advantage of his momentary surprise to twist out of his grip. "Benedine had been coming into our chambers for weeks. Waiting, watching for the moment when he could take one of us, make us submit to him. And you are going to tell me you had no knowledge of his plans? That you were not the one feeding him information on how to catch one of us unawares?"

His eyes widened then as he grasped her meaning. "Ayana... what did he do to you?"

She brought her staff down on the soft backs of his knees then, finally successfully disarming him, his staff dropping to the ground.

"He didn't _do_ anything." She breathed, flinging his discarded staff across the room. "He _tried_ to fuck me. And now he's dead."

He had fallen to the floor as she stared down at him. And then his own arm shot out, pinning her to the opposite wall, arms above her head.

He got up then, walking slowly over to her, predatory.

He easily ripped the staffs from her frozen fingers, letting them drop to the floor as he trailed his palms over her bare arms.

"If you think, that I would let anyone other than myself have you..." He whispered in her ear, breath hot on her neck. "Then you have sorely underestimated me. You are mine Ayana, and mine alone."

His fingers trailed down to her shoulder, finding the places where the branches had grown thick over her skin. 

Adrienn had seen Ayana inflict pain upon herself in a futile effort to grow her negligible powers. "I see you have been busy."

He stepped back staring at his prone partner.

"You will be so much more Ayana, and I will do everything possible to get you there... we will be so much more."

She doesn't drop to the ground until he leaves the training room, doors slamming in his wake. 

* * *

 

 Ordinarily Sorena and Steka would have started their training early in the morning. But, circumstances being what they were, they had decided to take advantage of their newfound freedom aboard the Resistance Base by sleeping past the sunrise. And spending 45 minutes each in the shower. And taking a leisurely breakfast in the Resistance's cafeteria.

All of which went into the reasoning behind their rather late training session after lunch time. The sun was out and the weather was rather pleasant so Sorena and Steka agreed that an outdoor training session would do wonders for each of their mental states.

Each of the Knights had their own unique fighting style, thus why when they had partaken in Snoke's quests over the years, they would generally find themselves partnered with someone who's style added to their own. Sorena's thrusts could not hold much strength behind them what with her muscular dystrophy, but she could compensate by making each strike precise and deadly. Often she had fought alongside Nicolagh who tended to strike out at random but could cause a great deal of damage simply by throwing his powerful body into each arc of his saber. 

Steka on the other hand was possibly one of the most natural with her weapon. Fluid and balletic, with a strength and athleticism that only proved her dedication to her practice.

It was why she had been matched up with Benedine, whose pride had kept him from ever being attentive enough to make any real mark on the battle field. 

All of this was to say that Sorena and Steka were not a fair fighting match at all, but that was ok. The more Sorena challenged herself, the stronger she would become.

She hoped.

Steka moved toward her with a series of rapid strikes which served to drive Sorena backward, nearly falling into a ravine as she attempted to disarm the smaller girl. 

"Sorena, you have to mix offense with defense in order to get the upper hand." Steka instructed as she continued her assault. 

Sorena summoned every ounce of intent from deep within her and sprang forward, quickly enough to throw Steka off balance but not quickly enough to disarm her. 

 Steka had always been a strong fighter and dedicated to her training. Which meant that when Sorena got close to her, the athletic brunette had no trouble executing a complicated maneuver that landed Sorena flat on her back, effectively ending their training session.

"Weren't you just injured? How is it that you're still able to overpower me?" Sorena asked, taking her time picking herself back up from the ground.

Steka simply shrugged, "I was injured, but that Jedi, Rey's healing power is no joke apparently." She twirled her wooden practice staff as if in demonstration, "It's not like we're exactly evenly matched anyway, but the more you challenge yourself, the stronger you'll be when you need it."

In what seemed like another lifetime, back when Sorena, Steka and Ayana were Luke's Padawans, the three girls would often practice together, each strength and weakness serving to balance the other. 

Now Ayana drew from another source to sharpen her power, one that Sorena and Steka still refused to access, even if neither held out any hope of ever again returning to the light. 

The two girls are about to return to the base to forage for food or nap or perhaps just to take a well deserved and exceptionally rare break when a familiar voice cuts across the open air. 

"Wow! You girls are training?"

Sorena is pleased to see Nicolagh looking slightly more aware than yesterday. Even more pleased to see that he is not trailing after Adrienn like a confused puppy dog.

It's Steka who responds first, nodding vaguely , "We were just finishing up..."

"Can I join you?"

And he just looks so hopeful and excited Sorena can't find it in herself to turn him down. She never could.

"I'll leave you two to it, I'm fucking starving anyway." Steka excuses herself, heading back to the base, leaving Sorena and Nicolagh in silence.

Nicolagh picks up Steka's discarded staff, "So, spar?" He says, a puppyish look in his deep brown eyes.

Sorena nods before pausing to gather her thoughts, "Depends, do you remember who I am today?"

For a moment, Nicolagh looks angry, then hurt, then his expression falls into one of accepting passivity, as if too exhausted to argue against a question that is not mean to hurt but still does nonetheless. 

"Sorena, I always know who you are. Even when I can't remember your name, I can remember what you are to me."

Sorena sighed but relented still. She knew she needed the practice.

And if she was able to let out a bit of her excess frustration on Nicolagh then all the better. 

They started off slow. 

Sparring with Nicolagh was so much different than with Steka. Sorena always felt inferior to the other girl in some way, as if they were student and teacher rather than partners.

Nicolagh was different. His strengths were a match for her weaknesses but she also knew that her own fighting style was superior to his own, so it was never certain who would have the upper hand at any given moment, which only served to ratchet up the tension that had always been flaring between them.

Currently she was on the offensive, Nicolagh easily blocking her pointed strikes. 

"So, you are aligning yourself with Adrienn now?" She figured questioning him while distracted might be the best tactic.

Nicolagh simply raised a thick eyebrow, "Haven't we all aligned ourselves with him? He is the most powerful after Kylo Ren, it is within our benefit to stay with him. I can't understand why you three left..." He began shaking his head.

Sorena elbowed him in the soft space under his ribs, knocking the wind out of him, giving her the opportunity to wrench the other staff out of his grasp. She pointed both at his throat, forcing him the yield. 

"Ayana, Steka and I have aligned ourselves with each other. We never wanted any of this and if we can stay alive long enough to get out of the grasp of the First Order, that will be all we ask for. If you have decided to align yourself with power then, we have no place in each other's lives."

Sorena turned on her heal, but before she left, she took one last look back at Nicolagh.

"I love you Nicolagh, you know that. But I can not stand by the person you are allowing yourself to become. I have my own problems to fix."

If she had turned back a moment later, she would have witnessed a look of profound sadness cross over Nicolagh's gaze.

But she didn't.

* * *

 

"It's too soon." Rey insisted as she stood with Poe, Finn and Rose in the control room of the base. 

After the detailed information Adrienn and Nicolagh had been able to provide about the set up of the First Order base, Poe was feeling confident that another attack would prove more successful. The Resistance already considered the capture and newfound alliance with the Knights to be a boon and Poe wanted to capitalize on that as soon as possible.

Rey wasn't so sure that they had been triumphant in the Knights capture however. She still didn't trust Adrienn, and the more she discovered about Ayana, the more weary she became of the other girl. She knew more than anyone that the Force was so much more complex than simple dark and light. But she also knew that when the dark drew you in it became more difficult to pull yourself back out.

"When would be a better time?" Poe demanded "The longer we wait, the more time we give the First Order to find us and if they do that, you know we won't stand a chance."

"Poe is right Rey." Finn added a bit apologetically. " We need this victory to be a smooth as possible for everyone involved. We've already sacrificed too much to make it to this point."

Rey ground her teeth, forcing her voice to remain steady, "We don't even know what this is yet. It could be a trap. Why would you trust what Adrienn says so implicitly?"

"We don't," Poe retorted. "But his information has been verified. If this is a trap, we will be ready for it."

"Rey," Rose spoke in that smooth, clear voice. "Do you know something we don't?"

Rose had always been far too perceptive. For a moment Rey debated telling them her secret. That she had been speaking to the Supreme Leader in the night. That he had warned her against the Knights in that protective way of his, the one that was far too often overshadowed by his temper, his hunger, his need.

But she stopped herself. She couldn't tell them, because she couldn't betray him.

She wondered when the lines between the Resistance and The First Order had become so soft

"No," She replied. "No, I have nothing more to say."

"Good," Poe nodded, "Then we launch our attack tomorrow morning, the Knights have agreed join us."

* * *

 

General Armitage Hux considered himself an opportunist. 

Though he preferred for events to go as expected, he felt that he was often talented at taking initiative of unforeseen occurrences. 

The death of Snoke had been an unforeseen occurrence, Kylo Ren's inadequacy as a leader had not been. 

The return of the Knights of Ren had been an unforeseen occurrence, their usefulness in furthering Hux's own plans had simply been luck.

Each step the Resistance had made since Kylo Ren's humiliation on Crait had been predictable but Hux did not expect his luck to continue, which was why had set up each of his pawns at the end of the board. His rooks surrounded him in order of usefulness and he expected that this match was coming to an end. 

Hux was an opportunist.

And the minute Snoke's bisected corpse had fallen from that throne, Hux had begun to seize this newest opportunity.

* * *

 

Ben Solo stood on the viewing platform, his favorite spot for mediation.

Though, he had rarely practiced through these years, he found the act came back easily to him. As if a part of him at simply been asleep waiting for him to nudge it back to life.

Ben felt that he had developed a keen sense of danger of the tumultuous years of his life, and Armitage Hux was not as subtle as he liked to believe.

No, Ben knew that a mutiny was in the works, the only question was how and when.

Strangely, Bem felt at peace with the notion. His Knights were safely in the hands of the Resistance, and with the information he had given Rey, he knew she would be able to care for herself. She was strong, stronger than he had ever been.

Ben Solo knew he was about to die, the only question was when, and how.

And though part of him hoped for one more chance to speak to Rey before it happened, another part knew it would be fruitless. He could never properly say goodbye to her.

But he could give his life for her.

His worthless life would finally have meaning. Perhaps then he could find his peace.

Whatever sort of peace was given to monsters.

 


	8. Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second battle has begun  
> Lies are exposed  
> New enemy lines are drawn  
> The real threat begins

Whatever fire Rey had experienced the first time the Resistance had attacked the First Order base was not present within her this time.

It had been too long since she had spoken to Ben through the bond and Rey felt a growing tension deep in her chest. She knew Ben couldn't be dead, she would feel it. Their connection was too deep now, their memories shared between them, every thought open to the other. 

So, no, he wasn't dead but the silence was concerning. And not just for the implications it had concerning Ben's safety. This whole attack felt ill fated. Though Poe had insisted that their plans did not rely on the information given by the Knights, Rey knew that they were putting far too much trust in these so called allies. 

But she had been outnumbered in her distrust, Poe's belief that they would be in control of the attack regardless of whatever was being plotted in night by those that dwelled in darkness.

Rey regarded the Knights from the Falcon's gunner. They were a mix color despite their all black attire. Sorena red with passion, Steka's golden ambition and Nicolagh's charcoal confusion. 

The rest faded to black.

They kept the ship cloaked as they came closer to the First Order's massive fleet.

"Rey and the Knights will take the lead, but Kaydel I will be watching for any incoming moves by the First Order. Rey, Finn will be with you too should any unforeseen complications arise."

Rey knew that Poe mentioned this for her benefit, but it did little to quell her concern.

As everyone was getting into formation in preparation for the assault, Rose pulled Rey apart from the group.

"Rey, are you going to be ok?" The smaller girl asked, cocking her head slightly.

Rey vigorously shook her own head, "Of course, I trust Poe. Everything will be fine."

Rose's shrewd gaze picked up on everything though, it was almost as if she had some sort of Force sensitivity herself.

People often underestimated Rose but growing up enslaved alongside her sister had taught the black haired girl how to observe. How to be quiet so no one noticed her looking.

How to tell when someone was lying.

"Rey, now might not be the best time but you can talk to me. I know that things are tense right now with the Resistance just back up on its feet and the war but... you know this isn't all on you right? You don't have to shoulder everything by yourself."

It didn't change anything. Didn't make Rey's thoughts about Ben or the Knights or the war that seemed to carry across stars and suns and centuries. But somehow it made those thoughts feel softer.

Rey didn't quite know how to articulate all of that to the other girl, so she just said "Thank you."

Rose's smile was beatific. 

Rey strode forward to the front of the group of Resistance Fighters, the Knights of Ren stood near the ship's exit. Finn turned and made eye contact with her and she felt her spine straighten and strengthen.

"Alright," Rey began, then louder. "Alright! Are you all ready for this?"

There were a few murmurs among the fighters, though none of them as loud or crisp as Rey had been.

"You'd better be," She continued a bit softer. "Because we are about to return to Hell."

* * *

Ben could feel her in the force as he strode through the darkened halls of the First Order ship, cape following behind him heavy and black. He could feel her, but he couldn't access her.

Something had been off in the bond this past day. Something was off in his head. He woke dizzy, his movements felt slower and this morning he had been too tired to even train.

If he were in the habit of self reflection, he would say that it terrified him. But Kylo Ren did not allow himself fear, so he tamped down the thoughts and concerns as he arrived at the viewing platform, approaching Hux with less grace than he would have hoped.

"Supreme Leader," Hux simpered. 'You are looking a bit worse for wear. Perhaps you should return to your chambers, avoid all this ... excitement."

Kylo forced himself to stand taller though his own weight felt like an impossible burden to bare. "And what excitement might that be Hux?"

Hux raised one thin brow. "Oh you had not heard? Well I suppose you wouldn't have. You did not leave your chambers until quite late today. The Resistance is here. They tried to keep themselves hidden under cover but well.... we have our sources of information."

Kylo found himself doubling over. "The Resistance...?"

Hux grinned, and Kylo saw that the General and himself were suddenly surrounded by Stormtroopers and technicians and First Order militia.

"Supreme Leader, do you mean to tell me that your little Scavenger Slut, told you nothing of their planned attack."

Kylo Ren collapsed to the floor.

Through his blurred vision Kylo saw Hux kneel down before him, holding some sort of bottle in front of his gaze.

"I have had a few of my chemists working on this for some time now," Hux began. "You might say, ever since that incident in the throne room. Though my confirmation really came from the footage of you and the girl in the elevator.... before you murdered Snoke."

"Did you think nobody knew? Did you think nobody would question your lack of leadership. Your disappearances, you decisions made without any regard for the input of those more informed, more intelligent than you?"

"What are you without your Force sensitivities Ren? Just a weak minded oaf, who murdered his own father and fell in love with some street trash from Jakku?"

"I have developed a sort of serum that was snuck into your morning coffee. Something that dampens a Force sensitives connection to that... wizardry bullshit. It seems that to sever a connection of that sort weakens the user physically as well."

Kylo felt himself being ripped to his feat, by then he was barely able to focus his gaze. 

"You and your little slut are in for a whole world of hurt... Supreme Leader."

And then everything went black.

* * *

 

Adrienn had been born with a brilliant mind and a beautiful face.

He had also been born to manipulative underclass man and his manipulated child bride.

He had grown up in the slums of Coruscant with his equally brilliant brother. The two boys were not allowed outside the house, were not allowed company inside the house. The first time Adrienn saw the sun it stung him, eyes and skin. He still didn't enjoy its light to this day. The darkness of space was preferable.

In the dark nobody could see him, not that they could see him in the light either. He didn't know what his eyes had once looked like. Had they been a pale brown? Had there been something behind them?

There was nothing anymore. But that was by choice. He has never been denied anything in his life but light. And as soon as he was allowed to walk outside he chose darkness.

Food, money, women, liquor were all available to him in the darkness. All he had to do was take them.

Power came easily to those who were willing to take it, and Adrienn was willing.

The fighting had begun almost immediately after they set foot within the First Order ship. The entire First Order had known, they had been prepared.

Most of the Resistance Fighters were slaughtered almost immediately, their blood making the floors slippery and black.

Adrienn could taste the salt as he swallowed it with his sweat.

Adrienn had discovered his Force Sensitivities with the sting of the sunlight. It was how he was able to make his parents let him and his brother outside. He simply dipped on claw into their minds and they would do what he pleased.

He rarely used this tactic anymore, he knew his words were enough.

He knew his brain was enough.

When he made eye contact with his next opponent, his normally arching strike fell just short enough not to make contact.

His opponent's only short enough to strike his head with the blunt end of the lightsaber.

Adrienn tried to hide his grin as he fell.

* * *

Rey felt like she was on autopilot.

First Order soldiers fell before her.

More Resistance members fell behind her.

She barely registered it when Adrienn went down, she was too busy searching for Ben.

Where was he? She still felt it, but it was faint somehow, as if muted...

"There's our Scavenger. Goodness, the Resistance really must be lacking in funding if it isn't able to even properly outfit its members."

The pale General stood before her holding his hands behind his back, obscenely calm in the carnage.

Rey didn't allow herself time to think, she sprinted forward lightsaber poised to cut.

But it was met with another saber, blue like her own.

Hux grinned, both hands holding the hilt of the blue saber. "While our Supreme Leader has been busy rutting with you in the night, I have had a few men of my own go searching. We have managed to mine some kyber of our own to begin building these wonderful weapons. Though this one I took off of a collector of sorts. He wasn't selling but we managed to reach.... an agreement of sorts."

Rey ground her teeth striking again.

"Where is Ben Solo?"

Hux simply sneered. "It's just us scavenger. Ben Solo cannot save you now."

And then he pulled his saber back ready to come down on Rey.

* * *

 

Ben Solo woke up strapped to a chair. The very same chair in the very same room where he had once found Rey.

His head was pounding and when he tried to reach out with the force he was unable to access it at all.

"So, he awakens!"

A bland looking man in a First Order issue military uniform stood in front of Ben. He held Ben's own saber in his hands.

"Tell me Supreme Leader, what will you do now that you don't have your Force abilities to aid you in your rage? A tantrum isn't quite so horrifying when it is not accompanied by power."

Ben remained silent. He would not let this man provoke him.

The man seemed to sense Ben's control, he ignited the saber bringing it down on Ben, slicing it down his arm.

Ben held back a scream, he had, of course, experienced worse.

The shook his head wildly, lip curling. "Do you know what is happening to your girl down there Ren? Hm? Do you know what is happening to the Scavenger?"

Ben worked his mouth, biting back the words churning in his head.

"Hux does not have the Force like she does, but he has a weapon."

Ben felt something like heat graze his arm, though the other man had not moved to ignite the saber again.

"No, not a lightsaber, though we have had a few of those created as well. So sorry we were not able to share these plans but you of course, were busy."

Kylo Ren's eye twitched.

"One of your Knights of Ren, he told us of the arrival of the Resistance today, we are prepared for whatever they have planned."

Kylo felt the air being sucked out of the room.

"And when we are done with her, we will keep her body. And we will fuck it until even the Force cries out in pain."

He heard her voice.

_BEN_

The cuffs around his wrists and ankles broke open and the other man only had time for his eyes to grow wide before he was lifted off the ground gasping for air.

Kylo left the man unconscious on the ground, only stopping to pick up his saber before leaving the room.

* * *

 

Non-Force users did not have the same bond with their sabers as Force Sensitives but still Hux had managed to beat her back, making a blow against her upper arm that matched the cut already on her other bicep.

She was getting tired.

"So, this is she. The great hope of the Resistance."

He backhanded her, her body falling to the ground, she tried to reach up with the Force to push him off of her but he stepped on her hand, crushing it to the ground.

"Your movement will crumble. The Jedi will die and order will be restored to the galaxy."

He kicked her saber away, pointing his own at her throat.

"Any last words, Scavenger?"

Suddenly the redheaded General was flung across the room, slamming into a metal wall, knocking unconscious.

Ben Solo stood across the room from her, pale and drawn but gaze direct and steady. 

"She's not a scavenger Hux, she's a Jedi."

Ben walked over to her, though his steps looked to be heavy. She stood up meeting his gaze.

For a moment they stood there peaceful, looking back at each other.

And then Ben's eyes widened before he fell to the ground, steam coming from the back of his cape as it darkened with blood.

Standing there before her, lightsaber drawn and glowing was Adrienn.

* * *

What was left of the Resistance were still holding their own against the First Order's soldiers. The Knights cutting down anyone who remained.

Ayana was breathing hard having just brought down her opponent when she caught sight of them.

She had been convinced that Adrienn had died when he was felled at the beginning of the raid but there he was.

And be was fighting their Jedi.

Ayana had trusted many people in her life.

Her parents when they had advised her to join Luke's training camp.

Kylo Ren when he had offered her the chance to be Snoke's Knight.

The Jedi Rey when she had offered to heal her.

The Jedi Rey.

The Jedi Rey sliced Adrienn up the spine, sending him falling to the ground.

* * *

 

The First Order base was in chaos.

The remaining Resistance members surrounded Rey as she knelt over Ben's body.

"Rey, we have to get back to the Resistance ships now!" Finn spoke by her side.

"Help me bring him with us." Rey sobbed

"What... Rey, what do you mean? This is Kylo Ren!"

Rey shake her head not even knowing what she was responding to.

Was she saying no this wasn't Kylo Ren or no she couldn't explain?

"Please Finn, do this for me."

Rey and Finn hoisted Kylo's heavy body between them carrying him to the ship as fast as they could before the First Order could regroup.

Sorena, Steka and Nicolagh followed close behind.

Sorena however glanced over her shoulder one last time and stopped.

Ayana was not following after them.

She was still kneeling next to Adrienn.

"Ayana?" Sorena said quietly.

"We can't just leave him here..." Ayana replied.

"Ayana, you have to leave him... he lied. He betrayed us. Again."

Ayana simply shook her head.

And then, as if being called from behind the grave, Adrienn woke up.

"Ayana, you can't leave me here."

"Ayana don't listen to him,,," But Sorena sounded so much quieter.

"How can you trust them? After what they did to you? After what they did to me? They will not survive. They will weaken you more than they have already. Ayana if we stay we can be strong, we can have power like we've never had. Please, just stay with me."

Ayana stood up from her spot beside him and held out one hand.

The Knight were jolted back, out the doors of the First Order base.

The last thing Sorena saw before the doors closed was Ayana clutching at her shoulder, a look of searing pain in her eyes.

* * *

 

Rey held Ben on her lap throughout the ride back to base.

Poe was screaming about something that Rey could not make herself hear while Kaydel tried to pull the furious man back into the control room. Finn steered the ship while Rose stood at the gunner. The girl through her a concerned glance but did not force her to speak.

Steke was holding onto a sobbing Sorena while Nicolagh simply stared at the two girls. He held his hand half out but did not make the distance to connect.

"Why didn't you just leave me there?"

Rey looked down.

Ben's eyes were held lidded but they were open. She brushed a trickle of sweat away from his brow.

"Because I need you. I have more questions for you."

He closed his eyes. "I was supposed to die for you today."

Rey shook her head, smiling despite herself.

"A noble sacrifice. That seems a bit heroic for the great and terrible Kylo Ren."

"No," Ben coughed. "Not him. If I'm going to die right now. Please, call me Ben."

"You're not going to die Ben, I won't allow it." Rey said, a tremble in her voice. "Our story isn't finished yet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On time for once!  
> I had a hard time writing this. There is one story in here that really hits home. It can be hard to write about characters who are so close to you. When they make the wrong decisions you just want to grab them and shake them.  
> But it's been cathartic for me and I hope that it is cathartic for some of you to read.  
> Comments and Kudos feed my brain <3


	9. Warmth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben Solo is brought back to the Resistance Base  
> Sorena grapples with a painful loss  
> Rey and Ben Solo reunite  
> Hux's plans are revealed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is early again omg!!! I have a feeling that everyone is going to really like these next couple of chapters ;)  
> Let me know with lots of comments and Kudos please :)

Rey sat in judgement back at the Resistance Hangar Base. She supposed that for deceiving her friends, (no, her comrades in arms? This wasn't personal, she reminded herself...)

~~Except that it was.~~

For her betrayal, she deserved to be on trial. She realized that for Ben Solo, she would gladly be judged. She would accept any responsibility they asked of her. 

If only they would spare him. If they only they would listen.

If only they would save his life.

"So Luke tried to kill him that night, well in the long run, after everything he has done, wouldn't it have been better if he had succeeded...?"

Rey's shoulders stiffened even further. They had been having this same circular conversation for the better part of an hour and her tongue had gone numb from her biting.

"Poe would it kill you to even attempt to put your own prejudices aside for one minute?" Rey was shocked to see that it was Kaydel and not herself who had spoken the words.

 The moment of silence gave Rey enough time to refill her lungs.

"I know," She began. "I know what you think of him. What you know of him. But it's not the whole story. The truth is, it could have been me. In a different world, the loneliness, the isolation, the desperation could have driven me further into the darkness. And it wasn't just that, it was Snoke. Spoke speaking poison into his ears,  twisting him into this person. This Kylo Ren. And yes, Kylo Ren has done horrible things. But I believe in Ben Solo. And if you believe in me, you will give him a chance too."

Rey wasn't used to giving speeches, and her friends weren't used to hearing them from her. The silence weighed heavy.

"Force..." Finn spoke from his corner of the room. "You love him."

Rey stood to her full height, looking each one of them in the eye for a moment. 

"Yes, I love Ben Solo. And Ben Solo, and Kylo Ren, they both love me too."

* * *

 

Normally Steka was able to match any sparring partner blow for blow, but today tempers were high and Steka wasn't interested in ending up with a very Kylo-esque scar across her perfect face.

Nor was she interested in gracing anyone else with such a scar except for... well... Kylo Ren.

By the third time Steka found herself stumbling trying to block Sorena's next frontal attack, she had finally had enough.

"Ok," She began. "Practice time is over, you need a break."

"I'm fine!" Sorena spat, nearly slicing through one of the practice room's walls with the frantic wave of her sparring staff.

"Oh yes, I can see that. Your anxiety is showing and you can't even manage to focus on whether you are landing your blows at me or at your own eye."

"The last attack launched against the First Order was a complete disaster. Not only were we completely blind to Adrienn's betrayal but we lost Ayana in the process. We need to be ready for the next time."

Steka lifted a fine dark brow."Whose to say we will be participating in their next attack? We're lucky they haven't decided to execute us after what Adrienn did. And if they do decide to attack again I doubt that rescuing Ayana will be their top priority. Ayana clearly doesn't want to be rescued."

Sorena's blue eyes were tight, her shoulders shaking. "So, what? You're willing to just let her go? Our best friend, our sister. You would leave her?"

Steka looked very still for a moment, setting her practice staff down easily. "Sorena, she left us."

Sorena barely seemed in control of her own body when she launched herself forward, swinging her staff at Steka. She had nearly made contact when she felt a strong, rough hand grab her wrist.

"Steka, I think it might be a good idea for me to continue this practice, if you don't mind."

Steka nodded at Nicolagh, looking more disturbed than upset and made to leave the room.

Nicolagh swung Sorena around so that they were eye to eye.

They were always eye to eye, Sorena was just as tall as he was.

"If I let go of your arm, are you going to hit me?"

"Yes" She answered immediately.

Nicolagh nodded slowly, lifting a hand and pulling another practice staff toward him with the Force.

He let go of her hand and Sorena twisted around, staffs meeting with a sonorous smack.

They went on like that for a few minutes, Sorena attacking and Nicolagh mostly managing to block Sorena's sloppy assault.

Surprisingly it was Sorena who broke the silence.

"Do you even know what happened with Ayana or are you living in Nicolagh land again?"

Nicolagh paused shaking his head, nearly missing Sorena's next blow.

"I don't even know what you mean by that. I know Ayana isn't here. What happened to her?"

Sorena's heavy breathing wasn't from the exhaustion of her nearly two hour practice.

"Never mind, it doesn't matter!"

When Nicolagh didn't bother to respond, Sorena broke down, flinging her staff onto the padded floor.

"Why does no one care?! Why does no one care that we lost a fellow Knight? That she is alone with the First Order? With _Adrienn_?"

For a moment it seemed like Nicolagh would simply leave her in silence again, but then he said very quietly. "You care."

They stood there in silence, both staffs now discarded into either corner of the training room. Nicolagh's eyes were very distant.

"I don't know what to say to you. I don't think anything I could say would help." His held his hands out as if trying to grasp onto something invisible.

Sorena crossed the room then, grabbing both hands, she placed his hands on her face, and the placed her lips on his. 

She spoke into his mouth. "Don't say anything."

Nicolagh, who never knew the right thing to say, often regretted his words days later, at least knew what to do in this situation. He began by removing his jacket, followed by his armored shirt and pants and shoes.

he kneeled down in front of Sorena, tugging her own pants down, pausing awkwardly when he realized he should have started with her shoes.

Sorena bent down her self then, helping him along, one shoe, then the other.

It was lucky for them that no one entered the training room. Sorena realized she wouldn't have cared anyway.

She laid Nicolagh down, draping herself over him. They were equally as tall as each other but he was so much larger than her, he could easily crush her beneath his weight, instead he chose to protect her. Whenever his mind would allow him.

She drowned her thoughts and fears in the sound of skin against skin, the feeling of fullness and the scent that was so uniquely _him._

At one point Nicolagh flung her beneath him and she lost herself in the helplessness that was being pinned beneath his warmth.

Several minutes later he last thought of the war, of betrayal, of loss, was drowned out in her breathy screams.

She kept those thoughts at bay as she laid on top of Nicolagh, avoiding the time when she would inevitably have to return to a world so much more complicated than the simple act of being human.

Of being connected to someone else.

* * *

 

Rey sat beside Ben Solo's bedside. He was stable and according to Korr he would be awake soon. Rey would make sure she was there when he woke up. She would not let him be alone. Neither of them would ever have to be alone again.

Her thoughts were frantic and mostly nonsense. She was afraid. Afraid that he would feel betrayed that she would put him in harm's way in the middle of his supposed enemy's base. Afraid that he would be angry that she had not allowed him the death that he so clearly wanted for himself.

She couldn't let him. Despite the time she had put into mentally preparing herself for the inevitable moment that she would be the one to kill him. She hadn't been able to even let him die at the hands of another.

She had been able to convince the resistance to back down for now. But how long would they wait?

 

"Rey?"

The familiar deep tone broke her out of her circular thoughts.

"Ben."

He lifted himself to a sitting position, wincing slightly as the movement pulled at his slowly healing stitches.

They stared at each other. Green tinged eyes meeting deep caramel brown ones.

She couldn't take it anymore. She launched herself forward at his prone frame, causing him to grunt in pain, but wrapping his arms around her anyway.

"Rey,: He began. "Why didn't you let me die?"

The tears began to drip down her face. "I... I couldn't. I thought about the moment when I would have to kill you... and I couldn't even bring myself to imagine it."

"The Resistance will kill me."

"They won't," She stated firmly "Not if they want the last Jedi to fight on their side. I have managed to convince them that you would be invaluable to the cause... that is... if you are willing..."

This was what she had been dreading. The last time she had reached out to him, offered him solace with the Resistance, he had rejected her plea. What if he still wasn't ready...?

Ben sat beside her, his dark eyes seeming to look at something very far away, his jaw was tight and he looked very tired.

"Every decision I have ever made in my life has been wrong. Out of the very few decisions that were given to me, it seemed that I was destined to always be alone, always be reaching for something that would never be mine. I didn't think I deserved anything..."

He breathed in then, closing his eyes. Rey wished he would just look at her.

"I don't deserve you Rey," He held up a hand as she began to open her mouth in protest. "But, Rey, if you want me, if you will let me be yours. Then that's what I will be. And I will do everything in my power to try to be worthy for you. Because Rey? You are everything to me. I am sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

And Rey couldn't help it, she moved forward, pressing a kiss to Ben Solo's cool, dry lips.

It... wasn't good.

His nose was so big that her own nose bumped against it, and as he hadn't been expecting the movement, the kiss ended up being more of a nudge.

Ben's eyes were wide and a deep red color was spreading up his ears.

"I'm sorry..."

'I've never..."

"I didn't mean..."

They both paused allowing the other time to speak.

'I've never kissed anyone before." Ben bit out quickly, words running together barely intelligible.

"Oh," Rey was shocked. "Me neither."

Ben opened his eyes turning to her. "So, does that mean..." He began, eyes flicking back and forth seemingly unable to stay on her face. "Have you ever... done the other thing?"

Rey shook her head.

Ben seemed to relax a bit at this "I have not either."

At this Rey felt emboldened. Of course they would be equals in this, just as they were equals in everything else.

She pulled herself under the sheet covering the lower half of Ben's powerful body, lifting herself over his legs. 

He finally made eye contact as she did this, looking at her as if she were the only person in the world. As if everyone else in the galaxy had disappeared and they were all that was left. This was all that was left.

She wriggled herself out of her pants. Ben was in only a hospital gown, so that made it easy.

He was already hard.

She lifted herself onto him, feeling the first piercing of pain, she drew in a quick breath.

"Are you ok?" Ben seemed alarmed. "We can stop whenever you want to..."

"No," She cut him off "I want this, if you do."

Ben could not nod fast enough.

She eased himself onto him, the pain passing into a pleasurable full feeling.

"So, what now, do you know...?"

Ben nodded, eyes wide with wonder, pupils dilated and feverish.

"I've seen holovids...." He muttered, a little embarrassed.

He grabbed her tiny body, lifting it down beneath him and began to pulse into her.

"Oh..." She breathed, her pleasure mounting.

"Rey!" He whispered.

He dragged his fingers down, finding her clit.

They stared at each other in the eyes as she squeezed her eyes shut, an indescribable feeling building within her.

As they climaxed together, it felt like the most natural feeling in the world. Two sources of power, darkness and light, melding into one.

Into the grey.

* * *

 

Armitage Hux regarded Adrienn's newly refurbished helmet.

It was truly amazing that he had once been fearful of these Knights. Of these sorcerers.

Now he looked at them as he would a newly built space craft. Useful, beautiful.

Powerful.

"How is the girl?" inquired Hux

'She is fine. She is within my control," Stated Adrienn. "The Resistance will be coming for her, if not for vengeance against me."

Hux frowned at this. "I am certain their need for vengeance has more to do with me and the First Order. Especially if Kylo Ren survives."

"If Kylo Ren survives, you will certainly be needing more of that serum. How long before your little potion wears off?"

Hux grinned at this, hands going to his pockets.

"You know Adrienn, I would not tease your new Supreme Leader so, especially not if you and your little whore girlfriend are to survive what is to come."

The mask was impossible to read but Hux felt Adrienn's annoyance build."Ayana and I aren't in any danger of surviving. We are more than human, unlike your weak mortal flesh Hux."

"You are abominations. And when I have won this war, you will be easily discarded if I encounter any further impudence."

Adrienn raised his and then toward Hux-

And dropped to the floor in pain.

Hux walked over, some sort of remote control in his hand.

He whipped a purple covering off of what looked to be a large metal box.

"Do you like my new invention Adrienn?" Hux's grin was sickening "It was in the midst of being built when I first tested my serum on Ren. The serum was only the first step however."

"This machine pulses out magnetic waves that interact with the Force, causing its reaction to those pre-disposed to the sensitivity to become... cut off, if you will."

Adrienn felt like he had lost his sight and his hearing all at once. His body was heavy and he could not feel his arms.

"This pulse is so far only able to effect those within the same room as the machine. However, my plans are grand and they are many, and now I am able to make sure these plans grow to fruition."

Hux knelt down before Adrienn, removing the younger man's mask.

"Would you like to hear more about these plans, young Adrienn?"

 


	10. Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben Solo allies himself with the Resistance  
> Finn proposes a dangerous plan  
> Korr finds a way to enter the next fight  
> Ayana loses herself further in the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this??!!! An update so soon??! That's right :)  
> I'll be in California all of next week so I decided to give this one to you a little early.  
> There is one scene in this chapter that I feel like people are either going to love or hate depending on who they ship if anyone? At this point, even I don't know how I feel about it.  
> I will say though that it was one of my favorite scenes to write for... reasons.  
> Comments and Kudos keep me hydrated!

Kylo Ren was used to being regarded with fear.

Fear, pity, horror, disgust. All of these were the norm for him, as they had been since he was a child.

Negative emotions fueled the dark side, so he had learned to revel in it. The hatred that was so directed at him.

But, when he and Rey had walked into the Resistance's meeting room, side by side, hands joined, he had felt sick.

Such glares and glances should not be a part of Rey's life. He found himself holding his body slightly in front of her own, as if to shield her from anything that may harm he.

Even if it was only emotional harm. 

But Rey's eyes were steel when she reached the front of the room. It was easy to forget sometimes, Rey held her own darkness. And though she kept it leashed, when it was freed, it could be absolutely breathtaking to behold.

"As many of you may know, the former Supreme Leader Kylo Ren was brought back to the Resistance Base last night, near death," Every eye in the room seemed to be on Kylo then, he felt his ears turning red.

"What you may not know, is that Ben Solo and I have been in contact for weeks before that time."

At that a cacophony of sound assaulted both Kylo and Rey.

"Wait!" A newer member whom Rey did not recognize stood up "Who is Ben Solo...?"

Rey remained silent, not even glancing at Kylo Ren.

Kylo Ren... or was it Ben?

For years it had been one or the other.

Ben when he sobbed before his Grandfather's silent helmet, Ben when he watched his father fall from the bridge of the Finalizer, Ben when he held Rey's hand for the first time...

Kylo Ren running at his Uncle with a red saber, Kylo Ren slicing FN2187 down the back, Kylo Ren when he threatened to destroy Rey.

But perhaps there had only ever been one man.

 _How could that be possible_ , the black haired man thought to himself. _How could it be possible to be both and neither. To be the cause of such pain, as well as the one who suffers it?_

He had been torn in two from the time he was a child.

He looked then at Rey. Thought of her strength, her light that would not dim no matter the degree of darkness that touched it.

She deserved to be whole, to touch something that was whole.

He breathed, he closed his eyes, and he stepped forward.

"I am Ben Solo," The room hushed before him. "Son of Han Solo and Leia Organa. Nephew of Luke Skywalker and grandson of Anakin Skywalker, whom you may know better as Darth Vader."

The yelling started again. He felt confusion and turmoil in the force, only grounded by the feel of Rey's cool, calloused hand.

"Enough!" Rey's eyes were ablaze. "Luke Skywalker believed Darth Vader, his father, still had good in him. And I believe in the good in Ben Solo. Ben Solo, who's own family abandoned him and betrayed him. Ben Solo who still hung onto the light even as he was tortured by Snoke."

"Rey," Poe eyes were heavy with exhaustion. "How do you know you can trust them? How do you actually know all of this about him?"

Rey takes a deep breath and looks and Ben.

Ben realizes then that it wasn't just him.

Rey hasn't told anyone about the Force Bond either.

* * *

 

"Rey, I've known Ben Solo for years, before he became Kylo Ren," Poe was slouched over, as if he could barely support his own weight. "He has always been messed up. I'm not about to break just because of a sad sob story."

"I am right here you know," Ben muttered under his breath.

"So, what about me?" Finn began, staring Poe dead in the eye. 

"What about me? You trusted me after I defected from the First Order. Well, isn't that what he is doing now? You didn't know me before I was Finn but you allowed me to become Finn. You let me leave my past behind."

Finn looks at Ben now, a recognition in his molten chocolate eyes. 

" I remember that day on Jakku, after the raids. You could have shot me then, but you didn't. Why?"

Ben is transported back to a day that feels so long ago now. He remembers FN2187, Finn he corrects himself, standing over the body of a fallen comrade. He remembers feeling that the two of them had locked eyes through their helmets, across the battlefield. And he remembers feeling like if he had to murder one more person that day that he may just split in two. Kylo Ren and Ben Solo, finally separating from each other almost literally.

He remembers not wanting that.

"I didn't want to kill you," His voice is so quiet he can barely tell if he is speaking out loud or not. "It felt like too much. Too much death for one day. Too much death to see in one day."

Finn nods, if anyone can understand this, it is him.

"I've been thinking," He says, turning to Poe again. "About the Stormtroopers. The First Order is built to make it impossible to get out once your in. But I know for fact that I'm not the only one who wanted out. What if we reached out to them from the inside? If the Stormtroopers rebel, the very core of the First Order falls."

Poe nods at Finn, then turns to Ben. 

Poe Dameron had learned to see the world in black and white long ago. When his parents had fallen at the hands of the First Order. When he had joined the resistance and met Leia Organa, a woman who had been born to the greatest evil in the galaxy and still become the symbol of Hope for the Resistance, the Rebellion, the world. 

Black and White made it clear who the enemy was, made it easier to lead a falling movement.

But now looking at his best friend, the last Jedi, and his former enemy he could see. 

Black and White wasn't what was going to save them.

"Ok, Finn, you will be in charge of leading the Stormtroopers. Rey... Ben. We need you to sever the head from the First Order. Can the two of you stop Hux?"

And it was Ben who spoke then.

"I thought you'd never ask."

* * *

 Steka leaves the meeting alone, Sorena already having left for the training rooms. Sorena had been doing nothing more than eating, sleeping and training these past several days. Ordinarily Steka would worn her against inflicting possible injuries on herself, but Steka knew that this was more than simple preparation for any oncoming battles. This was Sorena's form of grieving.

Steka could understand that.

"Steka."

Steka turns, surprised to see Korr jogging to catch up with her. She hadn't even known he was in the meeting.

He has a puzzling expression on his well defined face, "You're going to be in the next battle."

It isn't a question exactly but Steka nods anyway.

Korr nods back vaguely, "What can I do?"

Steka raises her thick, arched brows. "Do? What do you mean, what can you do? What do you usually do?"

He runs a hand through his cropped hair. Steka can't help imagining what it would look like longer.

She rubs her fingers together, imagining.

"I want to do more. I want to be a part of this battle. To fight by your side."

Steka can't quite hold back the laugh that escapes her. "Fight? Korr, have you ever fought before? Ever even been in a fist fight?"

Korr looks very young then, very soft as he shakes his head, unable to meet her eye.

Steka's chest feels tight and her next words run together as she bites them out, coming harsher than she had hoped.

But then, war is harsh.

"Korr, you have no fighting skills, no training, no experience with weaponry or military planning. If you were to join the war you would be deadweight, a liability."

She pauses then breathing hard.

"You, and Sorena and Nicolagh, and even Ayana. You are brave. You sacrifice so much, I... I want to make it so you don't have to. I want to... share... some of that sacrifice with you."

His words are stuttering, and she can feel the fear in them.

Korr is fearful.

Fearful of her, of war, of his own feelings for her.

And Steka knows more than anyone, the consequences of fear.

"You cannot. You had best stay in the medical wing where your skills are more suited."

Korr stays in the hall watching her leave.

He waits until she is fully out of view before he does return to the medical wing.

He bursts through the door, rifling through textbooks, pulling various toxins, medicines, plants and herbs out of their shelves and freezers.

He can help, he will be brave.

He has almost everything he needs.

The last ingredient, he will have to steal from the First Order.

He can't help but grin.

Looks like he will be going to war after all.

* * *

 

Only hours after she had betrayed her fellow Knights, she feels the pain spread from her shoulders and chest, down her arms, covering even the skin of her fingernails.

The next morning, she realizes she can no longer feel her upper back and spine. The bones have gone numb with agony.

By night fall, the pain has moved to her stomach and she goes to bed without dinner.

All of this she endures, throwing herself so completely into her training that she almost faints, forcing herself to crawl to the shower rooms, the steaming water bringing little comfort.

The next morning though, she begins to panic.

Ayana wakes up feeling as if her head will split open. _A migraine_ , she thinks, _Just a migraine._  

But when she does manage to stumble to the washroom, forcing herself to look in the mirror, she cannot pretend to be surprised by what she finds.

She strips out of her clothing and takes in the massacre that is the reflection looking back at her.

She had long ago become used to her own hideousness. The skeletal frame, the scarred complexion, the face that seems to constantly be turned down in a frown.

But the black lines are new.

They had been traversing her skin for days now. Black, branch like lines coursing over her shoulders, down her back, along her chest and stomach, up her neck.

And now, finally, her face.

They stretch up her cheeks, down her forehead, circling her eyes.

Her right eye, she sees, has become entirely black.

She is not blind in the eye, more like a form of tunnel vision, she cannot focus on more than one thing at a time.

She opens her mouth experimentally.

It hurts.

She hears the door open behind her and nearly laughs because she must be losing her mind. She had forgotten to lock it.

Adrienn unabashedly looks her up and down.

 _Only someone as stunning as Ayana_ , he thinks, _Could starve herself, cut herself and be covered in black veins and still be one of the most breathtaking sights on the planet._

It's sadistic really, but he knows that each of those black marks inflicts a pain like he has never known, and yet here she stands. Making defiant eye contact with him through the mirror. Assaulting him in the training room day in and day out, and never so much as whimpering.

The raw strength, the steel of her will. 

She is power personified.

And Adrienn has always craved power.

He lifts a hand to her thin shoulder.

So small, how can someone so small hold so much power within their body.

How can one human body, resist all that would break them?

She turns then, one greenish gold eye and one blackened eye staring into his own dark brown ones.

She pulls his undershirt over his head, then moving to his pants until they both stand bare before each other.

No barriers between them but their own secrets, their own lies.

When she kisses him, it is not soft, less a kiss then a devouring.

He lifts her and steps them both into the cramped shower, slamming her bodily into the wall.

One of their limbs, though it is hard at this point to differentiate between them, flicks a switch in the stall and scalding water falls on them both.

Ayana wraps her long legs against his broad body, drawing him close to her.

His eyes ask a silent question, permission to touch, to take.

He nearly yells in exaltation when she gives it to him.

He thrusts her against the glass door, her hand reaching behind her for purchase.

He moves deeper into her, tongue licking down her face, as her sharp nails dig welts into his back.

Ayana meets her release, for a moment she doesn't even register the pain of the black marks.

Adrienn stumbles a bit from his. For a moment he could pass for young, for innocent.

Later after they have both scrubbed themselves clean, she catches sight of herself in the mirror.

And she sees her left eye go completely black.


	11. Life...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steka leads the fight against the First Order.  
> Korr joins the battle.  
> Ben Solo and Rey face off with Hux  
> Sorena attempts a daring rescue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are entering the series of chapters that have been in my mind since I first came up with the idea for this fic and I could not be more excited!!!  
> Thank you for entering this journey with me and enjoy the next action packed scenes.  
> I know I will.  
> Comments and Kudos keep me satiated.

It wasn't a good plan, but it was a better one than the Resistance had had since Starkiller Base and this was largely due to the information they had gained from Kylo's (or was it Ben now??) defection.

The Knights of Ren would storm the First Order Base alongside the Resistance soldiers creating a cacophony of distraction that would allow the other facets of the plan to go smoothly.

Or that was the idea anyway.

Each new step of the plan depended so heavily on the success of the previous step, brokering no room for failure, no room for second guessing.

 _In short_ , thought Steka, _They were all pretty much screwed._

Steka stood hidden outside the First Order Base flanked by the Resistance fighters and of course Nicolagh and Sorena. 

The rest of the team including Rey, Kylo (Ben? Steka would never get used to name changes...), Finn, and Rose would wait hidden on the Falcon until their moment to strike. Poe and Kaydel would stay behind to keep cover in case something went wrong.

Steka was pretty sure several things would go wrong tonight.

As Sorena walked toward her, she caught the taller girl's wide set blue eyes and immediately knew that one of those wrong things was about to occur at this very moment.

"I cannot fight alongside you today." Sorena stated with little fanfare.

Steka's thick dark brows shot up to her hairline.

"Oh?"

Sorena couldn't quite meet the other girl's eyes.

"This is the only chance we are going to have to get Ayana out of there. Someone has to do something. You are the better fighter, we both know it is you who must lead the Resistance in this fight. And Nicolagh cannot handle a mission like this... if he even cares at all."

Steka nodded. She knew this to be true.

"I can go with you..."

Sorena shook her head. "Your place is here. leading the fight."

Steka had already anticipated this response. She placed her palm on Sorena's thin shoulder and squeezed.

"Bring our girl home."

"I will" Sorena placed her own palm around Steka's bicep and then quickly turned away.

Sorena bounded up and over the high metal barrier of the ship, using the Force to make the leap.

Steka lost sight of her immediately.

Swallowing down the immediate anxiety that possessed her, she turned toward the waiting army of soldiers, Nicolagh standing at the forefront.

"You will obey each one of my orders, understand?"

The older man nodded at her, clarity for once present in his dark brown eyes.

She stared down the remaining members, harnessing whatever courage, whatever ambition had pushed her to make every choice that had led her to this moment.

This was her moment to make each on of those choices count.

"So," Her voice came loud and forceful. "We once again stand before the mouth of Hell. But, what they don't realize is that we are also forged in the flame. Stars that alight in the galaxy, forming and bursting in the black. We are fire from the ashes."

She turned around, staring at the shining abyss of the ship before her.

Her voice was low, but clear. She knew they could hear her perfectly.

"Now let's burn this shit to the ground."

* * *

 

Korr had insisted on accompanying the fighters onto the ship ostensibly as potential medical help.

But of course that was only the excuse, he hadn't yet told anyone the real reason.

Until now.

Finn and Rose were about to enter the base in the midst of the chaotic fight that was currently being lead by the Knights.

Korr had overheard the plan for Finn and Rose.

Finn was in charge of the Stormtrooper Rebellion. Or, at least, trying to convince the Stormtroopers to form a Rebellion. It was a risky plot with high stakes and very real consequences.

Which was why Rose's part in it was so essential, not just for the Rebellion but for the mission as a whole.

Rose would have to cut off the main power source of the First Order ship.

This was what had inspired Korr.

'Hey,"

He wanted to kick himself. It was such a painfully awkward way to approach two people he barely knew.

Of course he had to start with, _Hey_.

"Hey." 

Thankfully Finn was apparently just as awkward. 

"I want in. I want to be part of your plan."

Finn burst into an abrupt coughing fit and Rose's heart shaped mouth formed a little oh of surprise. 

Of course. They barely knew him. He was just the med tech. 

"Listen," His voice was tight in his throat, his face flushed red with suppressed emotion. "When I was just a boy in Pythia I apprenticed with a Biochemist. I know how to mix toxins, how to attach prosthetics... I know how to alter genetics. I can help you in this mission."

To his surprised, both Finn and Rose were watching him with appraisal.

"Just trust me. I can fight. I want to fight."

What he didn't say was that what he really wanted was to be brave.

He wanted Steka to see him be brave.

* * *

The last time Ben Solo had been in this elevator with Rey, he had been on his way to murder his master.

The irony was not lost on him that once again he would have to kill someone who he had once considered an ally (though Hux had never actually had his trust).

Rey could sense his anxiety, his emotions were always clear in the Force, so strong was their connection.

"Ben"

Hearing his true name on her lips would never get old for him.

"Ben, we are going to be ok. We are finally going to bring down The First Order. You will finally be free of this. All of this."

He shook his head. "I don't think I will ever be free."

He looked down at her, this small woman who had survived hunger and pain and loneliness and had never let it devour her.

He had not only let it devour him, but had walked straight into the belly of the beast and never looked back.

"I don't know who I am anymore. I'm not Ben Solo, that boy died years ago. But I don't think I can ever be Kylo Ren again. It wasn't you who was nobody. It was me."

 She grasped his hand, slowly pulling off his glove. The warmth of her skin made him forget for a moment that they weren't quite safe.

"I know who you are. You are a warrior, an artist, a survivor, and my friend. You are the only man I have ever loved. And when we get out of here, I want to know that man, and I want to live beside him, free from all of this."

It seemed that every time they stood beside each other in this elevator their visions inevitably diverged. Because though he couldn't imagine wanting anything more than what she had described, he knew it wasn't possible. Not for him. Not after everything he had done.

The doors of the elevator shaft opened into Snoke's throne room.

Ben had never felt quite comfortable sitting that throne but clearly Hux had no such qualms.

"Well if it isn't the scavenger and the usurper. To what do I owe this pleasant visit."

Hux was flanked on either side by trained, masked soldiers, armed with glowing red lightsabers. But Ben and Rey had been here before and he knew they would survive this.

They had to.

"Hux," He straightened, hand grasping the saber at his side. "Too cowardly to face me yourself, man to man."

"Well, you know what they say. When you are in a place of power, why not have others more.... qualified do the work for you. On that note."

He motioned one pale hand and the soldiers pressed forward.

It was an echo of another time. He and Rey, back to back, facing down a legion of unstoppable beings.

But things were different now.

He held onto Rey's vision like lifeline.

He knew he would do all he could to make it a reality.

* * *

Sorena stalked alone through the halls of the First Order, cutting down any being she encountered on her way.

It was so easy, she barely saw the blood and bone that she exposed with a quick whip of her saber.

She was focused on something else.

She could feel Ayana in the force and she knew she was drawing closer. Though the first order ship was a maze of darkness and diverging pathways, Sorena knew she was following the right direction.

It was enough to allow her to ignore the pounding in her chest.

Finally she came to the center of the maze.

It was a cavernous space of bridges layered one over the other, careening downward into darkness.

She saw Ayana walking down a bridge impossible far down from where Sorena gazed over the handrail of her own pathway.

Though the figure was masked, dark and far, she could tell it was Ayana, she could feel it.

She didn't have time to find an easier way down, she launched herself over the rail, allowing the force to guide her safely down to her destination.

She landed, straightening and saw that Ayana had paused with her back turned toward Sorena.

"Ayana," She barely whispered. She knew she could hear her. "Take off that mask."

The figure turned toward her and to her surprise she removed the mask, letting it drop to her side.

Sorena nearly screamed.

She remembered meeting Ayana for the first time so long ago.

She remember marveling over her glossy auburn curls, her smooth caramel skin.

Her huge golden eyes.

The figure before her stood with lank, snarls of oily brown, skin marred with black veins.

Her eyes as black as a demons.

Sorena saw the figure coming toward them, moving closer from behind Ayana and she felt her rage ignite like a flame.

"You," She let every inch of anger penetrate her voice as she addressed Adrienn's approaching form. "What did you do to her."

Adrienn was always so impossibly calm. The luxury of one who was always in control.

"I did not do anything. As far as I know, it was the Jedi girl who sowed the first seeds of this .... amplification. Ayana simply allowed it to continue. A positive a have had the pleasure of witnessing."

"Ayana was always slow, weak. Not a fighter. Now, she fights every minute of every day. It seems to be the only way to combat the pain."

Sorena couldn't help it. She pulled out her saber, allowing it to ignite.

But it wasn't Adrienn who reacted, it was Ayana, pulling out her double red Sabers, already set aglow.

Adrienn laughed, cruel and humorless.

"She will not allow you to harm me. You see, we have already made our choice. Ayana chose the winning side and neither of us will allow you to take that from us. Ayana, if you will?"

Ayana moved into a fighting stance.

Each of her motions were stiff and robotic, as if moving on instinct rather than choice.

But Sorena had a choice.

She extinguished her sabers, stuffing them back into the pockets of her armor.

She looked at her friend. The sister she had brought into her life years and years ago. 

A lifetime it seemed.

"I will not fight you. If you choose to kill me. I will fall willingly."

There was a pause.

And then Ayana swept her hand forward, launching Sorena off the platform.

Down into the cavernous, never-ending pit of the First Order Base.

 


	12. ...That which breeds new Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn leads the StormTrooper Rebellion  
> Korr makes a sacrifice for the good of the Resistance  
> Hux's plans are revealed  
> And Rose makes a choice that could mean the difference between The Resistance's success, or their failure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These next two chapters!!! I can't believe we are finally here. I love these characters and this story so much and I hope you do too.  
> Thank you for reading.  
> Leave comments and Kudos, you know already I respond to everything!

Silence in the front hallway of the First Order. The Stormtroopers and a few low level fighters patrol, watching for any disturbance.

They are only halfway at attention when they see it.

Two black clad figures appear seemingly out of nowhere. Bounding from far down below to the edge of the docking bay.

In tandem, their arms reach up.

And that's when they appear.

In impossible numbers, the Resistance fighters are lifted up by the Force. Steka and Nicolagh using their combined powers to bring the countless fighters the top of the ledge.

Their weapons are seemingly chosen at random. Tazers, blasters, hunks of metal, but it doesn't matter. There are so many, and the First Order is unprepared.

Nicolagh bursts forward, his red saber glowing, cutting down several Troopers at once. 

He pauses in the fighting as he realizes, Steka has yet to move.

She stands still, having not moved at all from her place.

And the First Order soldiers move toward her.

In on swoop, she tosses her unlit saber in the air, shrugging out of her spiked jacket.

As they finally reach her, she catches the saber, lighting it and slicing the soldiers right down the middle.

Blood coats her beautiful face, but her expression is not beautiful.

It is the grin of a death skull.

And she is about to rain vengeance down on her enemies.

* * *

 

Finn sees them before they see him. This was the plan, this is how he will succeed.

The Storm Troopers, he remembers being one. A faceless uniform. A brainless tool.

But that was their mistake. The First Order. They thought, if he didn't have a name, if he didn't have a past, he didn't have a choice. 

But he did. 

He didn't have much to offer, but he could offer this. 

He could give them a choice.

They weren't many of them, and they were unsupervised.

This was the point, Steka and Nicolagh creating a distraction, an opportunity for Finn to confront them.

So he did.

"Stop!"

They turned toward him immediately, blasters ready.

He raised his own hands. It wasn't that he meant no harm, he would harm them if he had to. But he didn't want to.

"I am one of you. Or rather I was. You may not recognize me. But I would like to speak to you. Face to face. We are human, we are not machines. So let me see your skin."

One of the Troopers spoke then. "I do recognize you." His voice was soft, boyish. Young.

They were all young, babies when they were taken from their families and enslaved.

"I recognize you. You killed Phasma..."

Finn felt the first jolt of fear. Perhaps they would think him a traitor. He had murdered their leader.

But this Trooper came forward, removing his helmet.

The Trooper was young. An angular face and sharp cheekbones, shaggy dark blonde hair and pale gray eyes.

Finn decided to look at this boy as he spoke.

"I was once like you. A slave. I have had all of my choices taken from me. Everything was taken from me. My home, my family," His voice rose as he spoke. He was angry, he realized. "I never had a name, never had a purpose. I was a tool of the First Order. A Slave."

And he looked only at this Trooper. This boy who was brave. 

Brave, as he had had to be.

"But this isn't true. I did have a choice. As do you. They cannot take this from us. Join me, join me and fight against your slavers. Against those who would steal from you your own identity!"

And then he looked at each one of them, his brothers, he realized.

"It is time to take back what's ours!"

There was a pause and he feared perhaps it hadn't worked, that they wouldn't care.

And then he saw his words take effect.

It was immediate a parting of an ocean.

The brave Trooper boy shed his armor entirely walking to stand beside Finn.

And then half the Storm Troopers followed, standing bare in only black cloth beside him.

And then each side moved forward.

Clashing like titans against the Gods.

* * *

 

Korr had separated from Finn and Rose.

He had had to.

Finn had to rally the Storm Troopers. Rose had to dissemble the main wiring of the First Order System.

And Korr had his own job to do.

The Med Bay of the First Order was empty. All of their doctors working as backup against Nicolagh and...

And Steka. Steka. He was doing this for Steka.

He unloaded his satchel, open glass bulbs filled with viscous blue liquid.

He had mixed together the ingredients before leaving on the ship.

There was just one more he needed, and the First Order would have it.

He found it immediately.

The minute he mixed the right amount with the original ingredients, the bulbs started smoking.

He had to close the bulbs immediately, placing them gently back in the satchel.

Not only was the mixture explosive, the fumes were toxic. They could kill on contact.

The last bulb he mixed with only a small amount.

This bulb was not meant to kill.

With the right amount of this ingredient, the mixture would not be toxic, it would not be explosive.

No, it could alter genetics.

Korr, closed his eyes, thinking of Steka's beautiful face.

And then he inhaled his bright blue mixture, breathing deeply.

He fell to the floor immediately, the bulb breaking.

When he opened his eyes, the world took on new form.

And Steka's face was no longer there.

It had worked.

* * *

 

It was carnage as Rey and Ben cut down each of Hux's army.

Easy, Ben thought.

He knew when something was too easy.

He knew, because in all his years, nothing had ever once been easy for him.

Nothing had been easy for Rey either but then, Ben had never been as brave as Rey.

It was something he admired and feared in her.

She launched herself forward at Hux and Ben followed.

Hux didn't move, and Ben thought that perhaps he knew what would happen before it did.

Hux grinned, as Rey fell to the floor in convulsions.

Ben felt it.

That loss, the feeling that his body was not quite his own.

The Force. It was gone.

But it couldn't be, Hux had not given either of them anything, he couldn't have...

"I am certain you are wondering how it is that I have stripped you of your powers yet again, Kylo Ren" He ignored Rey, a mistake, thought Ben. 

Hux gestured toward a deceptively small box beside his throne.

It was so innocuous, Ben would never have looked at it.

But then, he supposed that was the point.

"That toxin I gave to you before? My technicians have found a way to pump those fumes through the very air. Now, this generator only has enough power to strip the Force from this room, but then, that is all I will need."

Ben was doubled over in pain, but his eyes followed Hux's movements.

The redheaded General moved toward Rey's prone body, and delivered a kick to her skull, knocking the smaller girl out cold.

And then he lifted his newly built lightsaber over her body.

Before he had the chance to strike, Ben was there, delivering a slice along the redhead's side.

Hux let out a scream like a cat in pain, and turned toward Ben Solo.

"You think I need the Force to be stronger than you? To be better than you."

He struck out at Hux then, the other man just barely blocking his blow.

"You are nothing. A desperate, sniveling follower. You are not a leader, you are a usurper. A coward.

He moved forward again, forcing the redhead farther up onto the platform which sat his throne.

"And now, I will make you regret ever thinking for a second about murdering Rey. Because Hux, she is better even than I. And you know what that makes her to you."

The two men's sabers clashed in a flurry of sparks. 

"That makes her a Queen!"

Ben arched up, nearly knocking the saber out of the other man's grasp.

"Now bow."

The two men moved toward each other. 

Their screams like animals, reverberating through the base.

* * *

 

Sorena's body flew across the First Order's platform.

Before her body fell, she reached out in the Force.

Ayana's own signature was so weak, easily manipulated.

She was able to pull the other girl with her.

As she began to fall, she grabbed the girl's wrist and held tightly.

Ayana's body was braced against the edge of the platform.

Sorena's nails dug into her wrist.

She felt something warm and liquid drip down her hand.

At first she thought it was blood, until she looked at it.

It was thick and black.

Was this what has been flowing through her veins?, Sorena nearly gagged.

It only made her hold on tighter.

She looked in Ayana's eyes. Her solid black eyes.

"When I said I would let myself die if that is what you chose," She started. "I meant it. But this, right now. This isn't you making that decision. It's him. So right now, I want Ayana to make that decision."

"I want Ayana to remember."

"Remember when I first met her, we drank an entire bottle of vodka when we had Luke's classes the next morning and we shared everything with each other. We through glass bottles from the tops of cliffs when my heart was broken."

And then she saw it. 

A ring of white began to appear in Ayana's right eyes. The black fluid leaving her sclera, dripping down her skin.

Sorena continued, holding even tighter to her wrist.

"Remember when you found out that you mother died, and I held you as you cried. Remember when you and I and Steka snuck out to join the caretaker's celebration that night."

"Remember."

And Ayana grasped Sorena's wrist back.

The two women didn't need to communicate with words.

They never had.

That's how Sorena knew to trust Ayana, as she let go of her wrists, and she fell.

Adrienn saw Ayana stand up on the platform.

But it wasn't until she turned toward him that he began to fear.

He saw the white ring in her right eyes, like a New Moon or the eye of a Barn Owl.

Ayana swept her arm up in a quick arch.

And Sorena was launched out of the cavernous First Order chute, her body flipping over once until she landed behind Ayana, already in a fighting stance, saber ignited.

Ayana shrugged out of cloak and ignited her own sabers on either side.

"Sorena, go."

Sorena turned toward her abruptly.

"What? No, I am not leaving you here."

Ayana simply shook her head.

"No," She could barely get the words out, speaking had become so painful. "Sorena, this is my battle to fight."

Sorena stood up. And it was painful. And every inch of her screamed in protest.

But she nodded, and extinguished her saber.

She only looked behind her once as she left her friend on that platform of the First Order.

Ayana began to move toward Adrienn.

But he barely had to move his hand before her sabers were ripped from her hands, her body launched into the air, frozen before him.

He walked calmly toward her.

He lit his saber and brought it toward her.

For a moment Ayana thought he was going to stab her.

But he simply sliced her armor, leaving it in shreds so she was bare in only her breast bindings.

He swept his fingers over the thick black veins of her golden skin.

"How have you not accepted it by now Ayana."

"You belong to me."

"Only me."

"I make you strong."

"This body is mine."

"Your soul, as black as my own."

Ayana closed her eyes, her entire body shaking.

For a moment, she almost gave up. 

Perhaps this was all that was left of her.

But then the memories returned.

Everything Sorena had spoken to her and more.

And she reached back, deep within her.

To that girl who had once stared up at the stars, admiring the apple trees.

The girl who had wanted to be a Jedi.

To be a warrior.

To be brave...

And she felt it.

The Force, that energy within all things.

She pulled it toward her out of the darkness, past the pain, and she felt it suddenly.

That tether between herself and between Adrienn.

And she pulled.

* * *

 

At that very moment in time, Rose worked through the wires and code of The First Oder's main energy system.

She was faced with a choice.

One wire would mean the difference between The Resistance's success in this mission.

The other wire, their failure.

But somehow, in that moment, nothing had seemed clearer.

She reached for her chosen wire.

And she pulled.

In that moment, across all of the First Order Base, the lights went out.

And everything changed.


	13. The Force In All Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lights go out throughout the First Order ship.  
> And destinies are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so late but in my defense, this week has been a shit show for me.  
> Anyway, this chapter is the one I have most been looking forward to writing and I hope you enjoy it!  
> Leave comments and kudos if you do <3

The lights go out.

In the newly dark hallway of the First Order Ship, the Stormtroopers pause. All they can see is black.

And then blue.

Specifically, two Cherenkov blue eyes staring out from the darkness.

And then a flash of blue light as the eyes become closer and closer.

An explosion and the Stormtroopers fall one by one.

The last one remaining alive rolls, opening his eyes.

He sees a dark-haired young man. Or, he would think it was a young man, but those eyes are nothing human that he has ever seen.

"Who are you?", the Stormtrooper wheezes out.

Korr tilts his head, neck rolling almost 90 degrees.

"That is the wrong question," Korr smashes the blue bulb against the Stormtroopers cracked helmet, and watches as the trooper suffocates, letting out one last rattling breath.

"The correct question," Korr ponders to himself as he stands up again. "Is, what am I?"

* * *

 The lights go out, and Finn feels a new adrenaline course through his veins.

Troopers against troopers, brother cutting down brothers. But this is war is it not?

Finn slings his staff against another adversary, the injured man falling to the ground, but it isn't long before more come.

He can barely keep up, and he is tiring.

He doesn't see the next Stormtrooper coming up fast behind him, nearly taking his head off with their blaster.

But then the Trooper is thrown bodily against the opposite wall.

Finn looks up and sees the younger, gray eyes Stormtrooper standing there, his arm outstretched.

It takes Finn a moment to process what he has just seen.

"You have the Force?"

The young Trooper looks back down at him, "Is that what it is?!"

"Call it whatever you want, just please use it again!"

The younger Trooper cocks his head a bit looking back at the rest of the Rebel Troopers.

"Brothers! Use your freedom. Our forbidden power finds new purpose here!"

And Finn never believed in miracles. His whole life had been a series of horrors one after another, with no respite. To live with that sort of fear precludes the possibility of hope.

But if ever there were a moment where he would know of a true miracle, this would have been it.

A line of Stormtroopers, whom until only moments ago were slaves to the First Order, reach out their arms, and the enemy falls.

The Force pushing back against a steel barrier, called upon those who had been taught to be weak.

Finn, still lying on the floor, shocked into ice, begins to laugh.

A miracle, a light in the dark.

The Force.

* * *

 

The lights go out, and all Steka sees is red.

The red of her battle rage, the red of the blood that coats her from foot to skull, making the ground slippery and wet.

She's lost count of how many she has killed now, but more continue to come.

Steka felt her mind wander to her friends.

Sorena had always struggled with her own iron morality. Constantly weighing her duties as a Knight against what she considered to be acts of kindness and good.

Ayana for her part seemed caught between her self-destructive martyrdom, an act of penance for what she considered to be her unforgivable crimes.

Steka had never dealt with that sort of weight. She was not under the impression that the things she had done were good, neither did she think them bad. They were simply necessary. Steka did what she had to, no more no less, and she never allowed it to cause her to think less of herself. She liked who she was, simple as that.

But then she had never before seen so much blood, and she had never felt so tired.

She slows, and the First Order soldier she is fighting against takes the upper hand, she is too tired to reach for the Force.

But then the soldier before her falls, suffocating on some sort of blue smoke...

She looks up in time to see two inhuman eyes in a familiar face.

"Korr?"

He doesn't respond, merely stares back at her.

But there is no time left to ask what he is doing here, what he had to do to be here.

There are more coming.

Steka and Korr stand back to back, as they take on the next wave of enemies.

* * *

 

The lights go out, and the only sounds in the Throne Room are those of Kylo Ren's lighsaber, slashing against the newly built one of the Supreme Leader Armitage Hux.

Kylo Ren has always been a man controlled by rage and instinct, they are necessary qualities in a warrior. But Hux is smart, he sees Kylo's moves before he makes them, knowing the right place to turn a foot, to arch back to avoid his blows.

They are trapped in this fight. Equally matched without the Force to guide Kylo's strikes, to strengthen them, to energize.

And Hux can see Kylo weakening. 

"How exactly did you think this would go? Did you think you could slaughter another Supreme Leader in this Throne Room? Did you think you and your Jedi would ride off into the sunset? That you would earn your redemption?"

And Kylo doesn't quite know what to say to that, because the truth was that, yes. That is what he had thought.

"Disgusting. You are so weak. You and your Jedi brethren. The whole Resistance, weak! Without the Force, you are just a brute. An animal of no intelligence or skill."

Hux surges forward, and Kylo is forced backward.

Hux slashes his saber, and Kylo barely blocks the blow.

The two red sabers buzz against each other.

Kylo holds it, all of his strength moving into his weapon, glowing in the darkness.

And then he feels it, coursing through him, strengthening him, sharpening his gaze, but how...?

Hux's body goes limp, falling to the ground, and Kylo looks down to see that the General's legs have been sliced clean off.

Another slice, and Hux loses the arm with the saber, all the while screaming in pain.

Kylo looks up into the eyes of Rey, standing tall, her blue saber in one hand, a rewired electronic box in the other...

"You know I have always been good at two things," She breathes, teeth gritted. "Fixing things." She lifts up the box, the one that had stolen the Force from them.

"And waiting." She says this while looking only at Ben. "And Hux, I have waited to long to cut you down."

"Are you going to kill me?"Hux spits out "Jedi scum?"

Rey tosses the box to the ground unceremoniously, "No, I think I like the idea of leaving you here in pain better. I want you alive to see your Order fall."

Rey reaches her free hand toward Ben, and he is transported once more back in time. Another hand, his. Another proposal, the one she had rejected.

Ben takes Rey's hand as they walk out of the Throne Room together.

And for once, everything is as it should be.

* * *

 

The lights go out and Ayana feels the Force coursing through her for the first time in over a decade.

It fills her extremities, pushing past the black in her blood, overcoming even the pain.

Adrienn is still touching her, but her limbs are no longer frozen.

 _What is this_ , she thinks. _Where did this come from?_

_Has it always been here?_

She lifts her legs, tightening them around his neck and she twists, throwing him to the ground.

She is straddling him as the pulls her lightsabers back into her hands with her newly strengthened power.

Adrienn is quick, he bucks his hips throwing Ayana off of him.

But she is faster now.

She flips over, standing tall, once again in fighting stance.

But this time, when Adrienn reaches out to push her down, to control her body, she reaches back with her own Force and blocks his power.

She throws him back instead.

 _Yes_ , she thinks. _It has always been here._

She remembers now, so where did it go...

Adrienn stands staring it her, a look in his eyes that has never been there before.

It is not fear though.

No, it is respect.

"You made me think I was weak," The words come more easily now, the pain is but a throbbing at the back of her mind. "That I needed you to access my power. That it was the only way."

"But you were wrong. I don't belong to you, I never have."

She rushes at him then, he pulls back so that she slides past him, but she twists, and their sabers come crashing together.

Two strips of red.

She stares at him.

And yes, she knows she looks demonic. Her twin black eyes, skin riddled with scars and blackness.

But she does not feel like a demon. 

She knows not all demons look monstrous.

Fallen Angels, are they all.

"I belong to me."

She pulls back, slashing her lighsaber, cutting him in the arm as he drips blood.

Then she pushes him forward using the Force, he slides back across the metal bridge.

He tries to back away, to run.

But she collapses the back half of the bridge.

"No Adrienn, you cannot run from your creation. I have always been better than you, and now you know it."

He turns toward her, looking furious for the first time.

He reaches out with the Force to push her back, but she does the same.

For a moment they are locked together, their Force signatures meshing, neither able to push the other away entirely.

But then Ayana pulls.

And he is launched toward her.

She grabs his hands and they flip together until she is kneeling before him.

She grabs his neck, and she pushes.

The pain is so much more than it has ever been

She feels her own mixing with his, as the blackness is pushed out of her, finding its home within his body.

Their mixing screams echo throughout the entire First Order ship.

And then Ayana stands.

He is fallen before her, riddled with black veins, eyes entirely black.

Black, the way her's no longer are.

She studies her clear, tanned hand, devoid now of pain and darkness.

She reaches out a hand, and her cloak comes toward her. She shrugs it on, stuffing Adrienn's fallen lightsaber into a pocket.

She forces open the exit at the other side of the room, and pushes Adrienn's prone body outside. 

Then, she turns toward the other end of the room, holds out both her hands and squeezes.

As Ayana exits the First Order ship, she hears the crashing and collapsing of the ship behind her.

But she barely registers it.

She is focused on the light coming from her escape.

She can see the stars.


	14. Interlude: Across Alternate Universes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The First Order Ship splits in half.  
> And across alternate universes, life goes on...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost a week late but fuck it, i've been busy.  
> This is a shorter chapter but after this i'm pretty sure there will only be two more before the end, how is this possible??  
> If you love me, let me know?

The Resistance had made it back to the Falcon alongside the remaining Rebel Stormtroopers. From the Resistance main ship, Poe, Kaydel and the rest of the rebellion look on.

It seemed that the fighters were finally at peace, the battle having been won, Hux being defeated. But it all felt like dust to Steka and Sorena who stared solemnly at the darkened First Order Base. 

Sorena thought that she would know. She would feel the moment when Ayana's light went out. Oh, the three of them had been connected from the start. Drawn together at Luke's academy, so different, each a piece that the other was lacking. Sorena's calm, Steka's strength and certainty, Ayana's fire...

And if that fire went out? Would the remaining two girls perish as well? Like a pond, dried up without rain to nourish it?

And so they wait, fleetingly hoping, barely breathing.

Still burning.

And then they see it.

A dark figure is blasted from the Base's doors, rolling across the platform, nearly invisible.

At first, Sorena thinks that it is Ayana, but no, she senses this figure is different.

It is Adrienn, she realizes.

And then, another figure emerges from those very doors, striding confidently down the platform to stand before Adrienn's crumpled form.

The figure tilts its chin up, looking toward the open doors of the Falcon, and raises its arms.

Sorena hears Steka inhale beside her.

Two flashes of red ignite on either side of the figure, illuminating her upturned face.

Ayana stares back at them in triumph, and Sorena and Steka do not even need pause. They kneel down, reaching out their hands to their friend.

Ayana extinguishes her saber, and still, she strides, slowly confidently forward, before jumping on top of Adrienn, his limp body giving her leverage, as she levitates herself up to the Falcon. 

She grasps onto her friends, each of their hands, in one of hers and she lifts herself up.

She stands tall in the opening of the Falcon, regarding the staring Resistance Fighters with an unreadable expression.

Then in one casual swipe of her hand, she lifts Adrienn into the ship, smashing his body against the opposite wall.

"Is there a garbage chute, somewhere where we can stow this trash?"

And then she turns her face, her beautiful face, devoid of the black veins, the demon's eyes, and a grin spreads across.

A smile, a real one, filled with joy and mirth. Sorena had almost forgotten...

She and Steka cannot contain themselves, they tackle Ayana to the floor, wrapping arms around her as she holds them back.

Home, their sister is home.

When Ayana finally extracts herself from their embrace she takes in her surroundings, her gaze falling on Finn and an unfamiliar grey eyed man at his side.

"Who are you?"

The man's pale eyes widen a fraction before he answers. "KT0174"

"Oh." She understands, "You are s Stormtrooper. Is there something else you would prefer to be called?"

He pauses a beat but when he looks back at her it is with absolute conviction."Kato. I think I would like to go by Kato."

It is Rey who finally breaks the silence, bringing them all back to the present. 

"We should probably alert Poe to our situation and then head out..." She says gently.

They nod at her as she makes her way toward the com, about to contact Kaydel and Poe.

The two of them turn up on the Holo, faces barely containing their grins of triumph.

"Alright kids," Poe quips over the Holo. "Let's go home."

And if things were easier, if they were fair. If the world were beautiful and right, the next sound would have been their cheering, and then they would go home.

But this isn't that world.

Instead, the next sound was Adrienn's bitter laughter, coming from his place, curled on the floor.

"You think Hux would have made it that easy," And he sounds insane now, his laughter angry and hollow. "You think, he would not have planned for a situation, just like this?"

They are all staring at him now. This black veined, empty-eyed being.

"Ayana had the brilliant notion to slowly destroy the ship from the inside before she left,"He is speaking so slowly, and Ayana knows that every word pains him."But, that mechanism he had? The one that saps the Force from those within its vicinity? Hux built something bigger. He wired the mechanism into the ship. When it finally blows, the Force will be extracted from the Galaxy. It will cease to exist."

And the meaning behind this crashes down on all of them at once. Because a world without the Force would not only be a Hell for those sensitive to its might but all beings of the universe. 

The Force was the balance between all things, the pulsing, energizing core of life itself.

And without that core.... well, what would be left? What could survive?

"You knew," And for the first time, Ayana truly feels what can only be hatred for the man in front of her. "You knew this all along, and you didn't say anything?"

"What I don't understand," begins Steka, as she strides forward, effectively shielding her friends as only a Knight can. "Is why you would choose to go along with this plan when you are a Force-sensitive as well."

Adrienn does not respond. How could he possibly explain himself? The lack of choice he has had his whole life. The pressure that only a powerful Force user has to constantly be more powerful... Or perhaps that is just him? Someone who was born poor and powerless, whose only value came from an ability that would always be manipulated by those around him.

How someone who had always been used by others might crave the freedom of anonymity?

"It doesn't matter. What are we going to do about this?" Sorena is close to panic.

Suddenly everyone on the Falcon is talking at once. None of them can come up with a viable plan and they are all running out of time.

They don't hear Kaydel when she pulls Poe aside and lets him know she has an idea.

She reminds him of Holdo's maneuver, how she split the First Order ship in two.

How when she did, it exploded into a different time stream, a universe where its destruction would not hold consequence for their world...

But Holdo died doing this.

"There is a way," Kaydel insists."Holdo was working alone, she had no one to keep her steady and keep her mind from being torn between the different world when she split through the ship... If we can keep each other focused we might be able to go fast enough to survive it."

Poe stood in silence for a beat. He was scared. This was new to him, he considered himself someone untouched by fear, someone always willing to make the appropriate sacrifice for his cause. But he also realized he did not want to die. And he certainly did not want Kaydel to die.

He loved her, and it was that thought that terrified him most of all.

"Hey," Kaydel saw Poe's fear, misinterpreting it as fear for their plan. "Are you or are you not the best Pilot in the Resistance."

He gazed at her. She was so much younger than him, and yet he could see in her warm brown eyes the wisdom that somehow had always flown over his head.

He burned to be worthy of it.

"No," He started. 'I am not the best pilot. But you are, and maybe that is enough."

She smiled at him.

Poe's voice broke from the Holocron, pulling the bickering Resistance fighters out of their anxiety ridden revery.

"Friends, fighter, comrades in arms. This is your General speaking. I want to tell you all, that it has been a privilege to fight alongside you. More than that, it has been a dream to be your friend. And an honor to have met and loved all of you."

Before the fighters could process what he had said, what sounded like a goodbye, the Holocron screen went dark.

And only seconds later, they watched as their General, pulled his ship into hyperspeed, and sliced through the First Order Ship, exploding into white light.

* * *

 

 In the darkness of space, all sound was sucked from the air, the blackness surrounding them bursting into white.

And across alternate universes....

A beautiful young woman moved across the continent with a cross-eyed boy in love with her, as they attempted to start a new life.

He holds her hand underneath the Florida sun, and suddenly they look up at the sky, a burst of white light burning their eyes....

....

A too-tall black haired girl says goodbye to the man whom she loves. He is sick but somehow he still feels nothing but warmth for her. She will wait for him to return.

In the night, before he leaves in his parent's car, the two of them look up at the sky, and a burst of white light flickers across their hopeful eyes.

....

A young woman and a man who is has been friend, enemy and lover return to each other again and again over the course of six years...

One day, as she walks him back to his car, a car that they have traveled hours in together, they look toward the sky, and a burst of white light startles them for a moment.

To him it is inexplicable, but to her, it is magic.

....

A pilot and a soldier....

A mechanic and a war lieutenant....

A general, a Knight....

A scavenger, a florist, a tattoo artist...

Grow up together, drink together, explore together....

And fall in love

They look to the sky...

Seeing the beauty in the white light that blinds them.

And back in the galaxy far, far away, millions of years ago, or perhaps in the future?

The white light disappears, and the universe fades back to black...

 


	15. Grey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The heroes celebrate a victory and the rebirth of a galaxy  
> A fallen hero is redeemed  
> And the Grey Order is born

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter after this omg!  
> leave comments and Kudos, cant believe we are almost there!

The surviving members of the Resistance stared out of the Falcon's windows at the slowly crumbling First Order Ship. The great, metal contraption split in half by the now disappeared craft that had been piloted by Kaydel and Poe. The craft that had been instrumental in their combined sacrifice. 

Finn had fallen to his knees with Rose's arms wrapped around him. Even Rose knew that Poe had been his first love, that sort of bond was not easily forgotten. 

Rey was softly sobbing in Ben's arms. Even Ben's eyes looked a bit red. So very few knew that Ben had once been close with Poe as children.

Sorena, Ayana and Nicolagh, none of whom had known Kaydel or Poe were processing the loss apart from the rest. After all, sacrifice was sacrifice. It didn't matter how personal.

Steka, stared stone faced out the window of the ship. She noticed that Korr seemed oddly stoic, staring steadily at some far off point in space.

But then, Korr had been strange lately. Since she had discovered him in battle with those eery blue eyes. She wondered how capable he even was of feeling anyting anymore. 

She was shaken out of these thoughts by Korr's, now oddly calm and composed voice.

"I see them."

It took Steka a minute to process his words but when she did, she surged forward, trying to look toward his line of sight.

At first she saw nothing but the blank expanse of space. And then, she saw them too.

"Come. Come, look! I see them too, they're there!"

First the Knights joined her at the window, followed by Rey and Ben. Then Rose managed to pull Finn to his feet.

Just in time for the ship to sweep directly in front of their window, speeding through the sky, a flash of white in the dark.

"Quick! To the viewing platform!" Rey exclaimed, sprinting toward the center of the Falcon.

Her friends followed, running faster than they had the energy for. Buoyed by their own relief.

They made it to the viewing platform in time to see the Resistance Base shoot up toward the stars, spinning and soaring through the night.

Meanwhile, in the Resistance ship, Poe and Kaydel cannot keep their own grins from their faces.

"Hold on ladies and gentleman, we're almost home!" Poe shouts, spinning the wheel of the ship, sharply, attempting to slow the craft down enough for them to dock.

"Their docking, come on, we have to meet them!" Rose says through her smile.

The fighters move toward to docking platform of the ship to meet their friends.

As the craft finally slows and stops in front of the platform, Kaydel and Poe stare at each other and smile.

Poe grabs her, lips touching her own harshly, both of them breathless with the sheer, simple joy of having survived.

When the doors finally open on the Resistance ship, it is Poe who speaks first. 

"Hey Big Deal, my jacket still looks great on you."

Finn falls into his embrace like a traveler, falling into his own warm bed for the first time in days.

Kaydel embraces Rey and the rest watch on.

"Alright," Poe says once he has gathered himself. 'Now, finally, let's go home."

* * *

 

The Rebel Alliance insists on holding a celebration on Chandrilla, the former home planet of the Organa-Solo family.

They will be celebrating the heroes of the Resistance as well as announcing the new political structures that will have to be put in place with the end of the First Order's ruling.

There voting has not yet happened but there are a few obvious successions that will inevitably be announced.

Poe is to become an Admiral in the new republic, leading the charge of the new military. One which will be fair, and hopefully not so quick to move toward violence...

Kaydel as Vice admiral beside him, taking on the mantle of the late Vice Admiral Holdo.

Finn, will take up the title of General, following Poe and, of course, Leia Organa-Solo.

Rose will likely become the new ambassador to some of the more impoverished planets. Though this will likely take her away from Finn's side, they both agree there is no one better.

Most planets will establish their own governments, they are owed that, with their new freedom.

Rey is expected to announce the reestablishment of the Jedi Order, one that she will inevitably be the face of.

And she is excited for this, she really is. She looks forward to training a new host of Jedi...

She just wishes there was time to breathe. She hasn't seen Ben since they returned to Chandrilla, and everything has been happening far too rapidly for her taste.

She stares at the stranger in her bedroom's mirror. The palace where they are being hosted is sumptuous, outlined in creams and golds. And the women of the Resistance have been gifted beauty products and clothing that Rey is sure she has never seen before in her life.

Her shoulder length, brown hair has been styled in curls and she is garbed in a floor-length, gauzy blue, silk gown. 

She chose it because it reminded her of the ocean. The one on Ach-To.

She turned away from the mirror, leaving her own quarters and making her way down the hall.

Just this morning she had seen Sorena, it had been very early in the morning before any of the other fighters had yet awakened.

"You know of my disease? It's called muscular dystrophy. It's degenerative and takes away from the quality of life... most of the time it is fixed in infancy but the treatment also affects Force sensitivity, so..."

She trails off and somehow Rey already knows what she will ask. She nods. Sorena doesn't need to ask her anything. 

The process had been painful, and when it was over, Sorena wasn't certain she felt any different.

"Do you want to try to access the Force? See if it has been affected?"

Sorena had bitten her lip, staring down at the floor, before finally lifting her hand.

Her lightsaber came careening into her palm, as her ice blue eyes widened in wonder.

"It's... it's almost as if it comes more smoothly than before. I feel stronger somehow." 

She looks toward Rey and pulls the other girl toward her, warm with gratitude.

That had gone easily, but Sorena had always been easy to talk to, to understand.

Rey now stands before another door and carefully lifts her hand to knock.

When Ayana opens the door she is still in her bathrobe, long hair wet from a shower, she beckons Rey into her quarters. 

Rey sits on the other girl's bed, as Ayana goes to stand before her mirror.

Rey can see through the robe, the scarred, emaciated skin. But somehow the young Knight looks less severe. Her hair is clean and healthy, skin no longer sallow, eyes alive, awake.

"I heard what you did for Sorena this morning," She begins, her voice quiet. "Thank you for that."

Rey simply nods. She thinks she knows where this is going, but she will let the other girl say the words.

"If you can, I would like you to heal me as well," She does not look at Rey, continuing to stare at herself in the mirror. "I know it did not go very well, last time... but, please, if you can. I would be grateful."

Rey comes to stand beside the other girl, and she cannot help but notice for the first time how beautiful she is. With her golden skin unmarred by black veins, greenish caramel eyes free of that heaviness that had weighed upon her.

Rey lifts a hand to Ayana's chest and presses down.

 

* * *

Korr stared himself down in the bathroom mirror, as his left eye turned from blue to brown and slowly turned to the side. His other eye had turned back hours ago, and he could already feel the power leaking away from him. He hastily bends down toward his rucksack to find the ball of blue he had stowed away days ago for this exact purpose. He gazes into the mirror and holds his breath before tipping his head back to down the toxic mixture.

Of course, it is at this moment that he hears her voice.

 "Don't"

He turns and she is still caked in dried blood, wearing her wrinkled leather uniform. She is dirty and tired but still so, so beautiful.

So brave.

"Don't what?" He asks stupidly.

"Whatever you were about to do, don't do it. You did something to yourself, so that you could fight alongside us and we ... I am grateful. But you don't have to do it again."

He is still holding the glowing blue globe, he pulls it toward his chest as if she will take it away from him.

"Look at me Steka," He can't meet her warm brown eyes. "I am weak. I am useless and I am a coward. This ... I made this so that I could be useful. So that I could be who you want.."

"And how do you know what I want?" She is right in front of him and he is forced to look her in the eye. They are the same height. He may even be lighter than her. "You are not a coward. You poisoned yourself so that you could help us. You went straight into battle, with no training, no back up... There is nothing cowardly about that."

She holds her hand over his, the one that still clenches the globe, but she does not try to pull it away from him.

"I am grateful for what you did. But, who you became in order to fight... that is not the man I love." He gasps a bit at that. A sharp intake of breath. "I love you. Smart, and kind, and caring. There is more than one way to be brave."

He lets go then, allowing her to take the globe in her palm. She stares at it for a beat before tossing it down a garbage chute.

And then she takes his face in her hands.

And he has never tasted a substance more invigorating than her mouth on his.

* * *

 

Sorena and Steka stand in the hall, waiting for Ayana to emerge from her room. They had already agreed they would attend the ceremony together, the three of them not having been privy to such an event in so long.

Sorena was dressed in a floor length violet gown, the bodice dipping far enough to show a slight bit of cleavage. The color brought out the violet undertones of her eyes.

Steka's normally stick straight hair had been curled and she had chosen a scarlet dress with a slit up the side. It was daring and seductive, just as she was.

Both girls kept their sabers attached to their hips. 

Ayana finally emerged from her own room.

The girl had selected a simple hair style, strands of curls twined away from her face.

She was also dressed entirely in black.

The dress was black lace with a low neckline and long sleeves, the front of the garment missing entirely while the back half flowed behind her like a cape. Sorena and Steka noticed she was wearing the same leather pants and boots as they had always worn with their uniforms. Her double lightsabers strapped to her side.

A queen but also a Knight, the peace between the two personas.

The three girls linked arms as they headed out to face the waiting public.

* * *

 

Rey stood on what was essentially a stage beside the Knights and the rest of the Resistance heroes. Poe was there, wearing a clean pilot uniform, while Finn wore a crisp white shirt under Poe's borrowed jacket. Finn stood between Poe and Rose, who had chosen a cherry red dress that hugged her enviable curves, her hair pulled away from her beatific expression.

On Poe's other side stood Kaydel dressed all in white with her hair halfway tied up. She looked like a princess.

Nicolagh was still dressed in his Knight's uniform while Korr wore a slightly rumpled button down.

It looked as if, though the women had been given the finest clothing available, the men had been left to scavenge for their own. 

Rey looks around the courtyard but she can not see Ben anywhere.

She shouldn't be surprised. Ben hates crowds and has no idea how he will be received with his connection to the First Order.

But she is disappointed nonetheless.

Each planet had chosen a representative to attend the ceremony in order to discuss the new political structures which would be set in place. All seemed to be going shockingly smoothly, with many planets simply reverting to their Democratic roots following the demolition of the First Order.

All but one it seemed.

The tiny planet of Massasoit had had a Democratically elected Monarch for centuries, though for the most part, the power seemed to have stayed with the Kovinksy family. Lucky for them, the family had been good and fair, and the planet had flourished.

That is until the High Lord and Lady had been massacred by the First Order themselves. No one had any idea what had happened to their daughter.

And now the planet refused to allow another candidate to try for the title, that was until someone could assure them that there was no chance the daughter would be found...

"If she is dead so be it, we will go from there, but we deserve answers before we are to be told to move on. And we certainly deserve to be in charge of the candidate in place. No one else will make any decisions regarding our planet!" 

The speaker was a pretty blonde haired girl dressed in blue, with a vaguely cat-like face.

Poe was speaking to her, seeming to become increasingly anxious. "Right, of course. But if your planet refuses to choose a candidate then we have no choice but to choose one for you..."

Rey looked around at her fellow fighters standing by her side. They seemed to be a mixture of bored and inconvenienced.

She saw that Ayana, in particular, was becoming more and more distraught, her fingers digging into her palms.

Finally, the black-clad girl stepped forward.

"Wait." She said.

The arguing continued.

She ignited her twin sabers and the arguing stopped immediately.

"My name..." She took a breath and cleared her throat. "My name is Katarina Ayana Lin Kovinksy, daughter of Dianelo Lin and Karlene Kovinksy, High Lord and Lady of Massasoit. And I am the heir to the Massoian throne."

Ayana remembered when news of her parent's deaths had reached her at Luke's Jedi camp. Her parents had been assassinated by the then-burgeoning First Order movement, her planet's government the first to be taken hostage.

She had raged and railed at Luke, begging him to allow her to return home, to reclaim the throne, to avenge her parents.

To allow her to do something. 

Of course Luke had not allowed it. He had been convinced that sending her back would result in her death and of course he had been right. 

That hadn't stopped her from resenting him.

As the years passed and after her fall she had become convinced that even if she wanted to there was no way for to return even if she had wanted to (stars, she had wanted to). She was no longer cut out to rule. She had starved and carved herself so thoroughly beyond recognition that she doubted she would even be recognized as Lady Katarina.

Even now as she stood there, without her scars, without the hardness in her eyes, she doubted it...

The young, round faced girl who had brought joy to an entire planet.

Standing before them now as a gaunt, sharp, dark side user. Hands painted red with blood.

"Katarina?"

The blonde's voice snapped her out of her revery.

"Kataria," And suddenly the light haired girl's face seemed to age in reverse. "It's me. It's Eris."

She had of course recognized her, her childhood friend, but to be recognized back was a balm she hadn't known she needed.

"Yes, Eris, it is me." The recognition of even one of her people was enough for her to push forward louder, more firmly. "But I am not here to reclaim my throne. No, that decision will be left to you. The people of Massasoi."

She turned then, staring straight at Rey, and ignited her sabers once more before falling into a kneeling position.

"I pledge myself to the new order, one lead by Rey of Jakky, the last Jedi. I will be her blade in battle, a steadying hand at her side and a light in the darkness as she reclaims the teachings that have long been lost to us."

A pause.

"If she will have me."

A slight nod from Rey was all that was needed before Sorena and Steka knelt down too, sabers lighting in their hands.

Followed by Nicolagh, followed by the Rebel Troopers.

And then everyone else.

Tears pricked at Rey's eyes but she shook them off.

"No, no, stand."

And so they stood.

"I do not want to lead or govern you. I will not be your ruler. Instead, I hope you will all be my friends as we start the Galaxy anew. I do want a new order. But not one lead by light or dark. One that meets in the middle, one made of balance."

"A grey order"

It started softly at first before catching on.

As millions of people from Planets all over the galaxy joined in, cheering on for something better.

And Rey could not tell if they were chanting "Rey" or "Grey".

Just that they were chanting, as one.

For the Rebirth of an Order.

 


	16. Epilogue: Balance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a Galaxy far, far away...  
> Our heroes find peace.  
> Featured song: Astronaut by Transviolet

Katarina Ayana Lin Kovinsky strode through the slim stone hallways and darkness that led to the dungeon within Chandrilla Palace, her head held high, her back straight, steps graceful.

The guards on either side did not question her presence, only nodded as she stalked past. Some even bowed.

It was strange, she reflected, how a detail so small as a name, a title, as a scar or a lack thereof could alter someone's appraisal of you so dramatically.

At least it made it that much easier to be granted access where she wanted to go.

She did not have to destroy the doors that lead to the high security region of the prison, the guards let her walk right through.

Let her stand alone before Adrienn, lying crumpled and black veined behind a row of Force resistant bars.

He lifted his head, his all black eyes unreadable, but for the crease of pain visible on his forehead.

"So, how should I address you? As Ayana, or Katarina?"

Even as he said the words, he knew they would inevitably fall flat. They both knew that he had always known about her family legacy.

It had been part of what had attracted him to her. She was not strong in the Force, not a skilled fighter. Had never had to gain the wits needed to survive.

At the time she had not even been particularly pretty... though he had known she would become so.

He had stripped her down so drastically, skinning fat and smooth skin to reveal the tissue underneath. Taking away her comfort her connection that family legacy until she was nothing more than a vessel fueled by pain...

But that had not been all that there was. The more she fought to survive even as everything was snatched away from her, the more he had found himself drawn to her. She was a fighter, a light in the darkness. A burst of fire in the cold.

Too good for him, always too good for him.

And now...

"You," She responded to him. "You may address me as your highness."

With a flick of her wrist, she opened the bars, which had of course been designed to be accessible from the outside.

She lifted him by his collar, still with the Force, still not deigning to touch his skin.

He stumbled a bit once she let go, leaning heavily on those bars.

"You aren't handling this as well as I had expected." She observed.

"Not all of us are familiar with the practice of self-mutilation."

Another barb which he knew would not cut. He could see her smooth olive skin. She had been healed.

She had already washed him away from her skin.

"What are you doing here? I've already lost. And I don't expect you to forgive and forget so whatever last minute vengeance you are preparing to reap get on with it."

With that he fell to the ground, crumpling in pain. He thought he had understood before now, but he supposed there were different levels of pain. 

He couldn't help but feel a grudging respect grow toward her.

"I am not here for vengeance. I do not need it." She knelt down so that she was eye level with him. "I am here to tell you that the minute I walk out of this room, I intend to forget you. Oh, make no mistake. I will mourn you, I may even shed a tear. But then over time, you will darken my mind less and less, your shadow ebbing away from me. And then one day, I will even forget your name."

No, this, this was pain.

Now he understood.

She reached out an ungloved hand, not quite touching his skin, once again holding back.

"But you should also know that this imprisonment will not last forever, you will be given a chance. And when you receive that chance I want you to take it. To see what else you can be with that power and intelligence and ambition. To find another path that you may travel."

A pause, silence thickening in the grayish room.

"And perhaps that path will lead you to me. And I look forward to meeting the person who chooses to travel that way."

And now she did finally touch his cheek, lifting his face to her own.

When their lips touched he felt it.

The blackness ebbing away from his left eye, traveling to her right.

So that they were as a Rorschach test, ink running from one to the other, the pain creating a balance between them. Twin palates of olive shot through with obsidian.

And then she broke the kiss and the moment was over. 

She stood up, skin and eyes clear of scars and pain.

And he remained on the floor, the ache returning.

But he could swear, he also felt her light. The light of hope.

* * *

 

A celebration was apparently incomplete without lots of dancing and drinking and after the various political discussions had ceased, the attendees were eager to play their parts in creating the uplifted mood.

A live band played at the side of the courtyard while seemingly endless goblets of wine were passed around to the gently swaying couples. Steka was already teaching Korr how to move with grace in time with her own body.

Of course Steka had always possessed a gift for dancing, It seemed the athletic brunette was gifted in nearly everything.

Sorena moved to the dance floor and was almost immediately able to locate Nicolagh, staring silently at the buffet table as if trying to recall the names of the food being offered.

Sorena lightly touched his bicep but he didn't react to her right away. Turning slowly as though waking from a dream.

Sorena felt a weight of sadness in her chest despite the lightness surrounding her. 

"How are you feeling?" She asked tentatively.

"Fine," He breathed, finally looking at her. "I heard that Rey healed you."

"Yes," She hesitated. "You know, she could do the same for you. She could heal you of..."

She gestured vaguely at him, not wanting to get into it. She had had this conversation with Nicolagh before and she knew he didn't entirely believe in what was wrong with him. But Sorena did, and she wasn't content to leave him entirely in the dark.

Surprisingly he shook his head. "No. I knew you would bring that up but i'm different than you. What you had was physical. Even without it, you will always be Sorena, maybe even a better, stronger version of Sorena. But mine... mine is a part of me. I have always had it. It is tied so deeply with my personality that I can't imagine my existence without it."

The way he spoke of it, as if it were a lover, stripped Sorena so thoroughly that she may as well have been carried off by a strong gust of wind. So disconnected was she with this way of thinking. 

But then she thought of the battle, of Ayana covered in black veins, of Adrienn angry and violent... and she realized once again that she was entering another war.

One that she could see was not her own.

All she could do was hope that Nicolagh would emerge triumphant, one way or the other.

Thus was the curse that was love.

* * *

 

When Ayana emerged from the palace back into the courtyard she found herself moving directly toward the buffet table.

Each of the delicacies atop the white cloth had been sourced from a different planet.

There were apple tarts from Almakia, seared crawfish from Massasoit, cheese cubes from Pythia and the plumpest, most succulent stuffed birds that Coruscant could offer as a last minute request.

Ayana ate one of each.

She was just washing it all down with a large gulp of sparkling wine when she overheard a soft voice speak to her from the side.

"I was going to offer you a drink but, it seems you already have one."

Kato stood there with two overly full goblets, proffering one toward Ayana whose cheeks were still stuffed full with food.

She swallowed quickly coughing a bit, before chugging a sip of the outstretched wine cup with a decidedly unladylike belch.

"Thank you" She responded, voice a bit raw.

"You know, you're kind of a hero... I mean not just you, but all of you. Finn, Poe, Rey... you guys are amazing."

She hid a faint grin. A hero, who would have thought?

"And what does that make you? I hear it was your Force powers that turned the tide in the Stormtrooper rebellion."

Kato's light smile faded a bit at that, "I suppose we are all getting used to titles we were not properly prepared for..."

Ayana set down her goblet on the table. She did not feel strong enough suddenly to hold on to it.

Kato took her now empty hand in his.

"You know, I have never danced before... never had the opportunity. But I was wondering if you would like to? With me?"

Ayana did know how to dance. She did not possess Steka's innate grace, nor Sorena's irreverent joy. But she could hear the music and suddenly it seemed ridiculous that was not already moving to it.

"Yes, Kato. I would like that."

* * *

 

Rey surveyed the courtyard, counting how many of her friends had already made their way to the dance floor.

There was Sorena, moving a bit awkwardly with Nicolagh, there was Finn swaying with Rose, whispering something into her ear.

There was Poe bending lightly to make eye contact with a dainty Kaydel. And Eris, the diplomat from Massoit who had taken the nomination for the empty Throne, forehead leaning against a black-haired boy with almond-shaped eyes.

 But nowhere did she see Ben.

It was odd, the knew, had seen, the way this crowd of people respected her and what she had done for... well for the entire galaxy.

But still no one came up to her to speak to her. To simply ask her how she was, to maybe dance with her as a companion with no expectations.

Somehow despite everything, she was still alone.

And with that she felt despair grab her as it once had on Jakku...

Until she saw him.

And she realized why she had not noticed him before.

He was dressed in the rumpled white shirt and black slacks of someone who had perhaps been wearing the same clothes for far too long. A pair of brownish boots dug into the mud, as they had been designed to do. This was couple with a utility belt slung around his hips, holding his unlit saber in place.

A scoundrel's leather vest completed the outfit.

But apart from all of this was the messy black hair, the too pale complexion and the depthless black eyes that had always been Ben.

And so she started walking toward him, and he made his way toward her.

She kept it up, until she could no longer hold back, and then she broke into a run.

He stoped just in time for her to jump into his arms, and he lifted her body up, pressing down on her lips with a kiss.

He finallylet her down but did not take his hands away from her.

"What.. whose clothes..?" She already knew the answer of course.

"I wasn't sure if I should at first... but then it felt like, he desrves to be here? And more than that, I wanted him with me. I guess I wanted to show him somehow that I forgive him, and that I am sorry. That I... I am him. I love him."

Ben had never been good with spoken words. But then she had never been either so she supposed she understood him.

"You look good like that. Dressed as a scoundrel."

"And you look.... wow."   
A grin split his pale face, pulling his scar to the side.

She touched the scar then, warm palm held against his icy cheek.

"You know, I could heal this, if you wanted."

He moved his own palm to her cheek, so that they stood, mirror images of each other in the middle of the courtyard.

"And why in the universe, would I want to get rid of anything that you have given me?"

She felt her own face move into a smile then.

There was so much they would need to speak about, so much to plan and so much to confront.

But for once, they had time, for once they could wait.

So Rey pulled herself back up to his face and kissed first his eye brow, then his scar.

Then finally she pressed herself against his lips.

And this time, she did not pull away.

* * *

 

They each stood dancing seperately, apart from each other. Paired off and safe, lost in their own worlds.

The band had long stopped playing and now music flowed freely from a public satelite station.

No one paid much mind to the song.

But this one grabbed each of their attentions.

 _I was never one to_  
 _Stick around the same town_  
 _Staring out the window_  
Getaway _car when you're gonna come around_  
 _I'm a phoenix blazing down the freeway_  
 _Hand out the window_  
 _No sleep cause the streets don't sleep when you're dreaming..._

Ayana paused for a moment looking around and making eye contact with Sorena and Steka.

They walked toward each other, a question in each of their eyes.

"Does this sound... familiar to you?" Ayana posed.

"I think, yes but I don't know from where.." It was Korr who responded.

"I know where it's from," Poe had come to join them, Kaydel at his side. "I heard it when i broke through the First Order ship, i've never heard music like this before. The lyrics don't make sense..."

"Yeah what's freeway?" It was Rose who asked this, she and Finn had found them too.

_I just want the world to have one more_   
_C'mon crooked stars don't you want to line up?_   
_I think I found a crack in the glass ceiling_   
_Gonna break it down with this steel pipe dream_   
_Gonna break it down_

Rey and Ben were now standing with their little group as well.

And Ayana couldn't help but grin. At the unfamiliar people, the music that was only half remembered...

"You know I think I like this."

Then she backed up a bit, staring toward the floating, tea lit chandelier.

She raised her arms over her head and stared back at Steka and Sorena.

And there they were, once again caught in a memory.

Of those days at the Jedi Academy, when all that mattered was their friendship.

Ayana enclosed her fist, and the chandelier shattered.

At first the other guests looked shocked and terrified at the noise. Before they saw what the girls had done...

Balanced between Steka, Ayana and Sorena, their shared Force powers floated the glittering glass and irredescenet flame. Flowing through the air around them, beautiful and unnatural but safe.

The girls began to dance, with the glass and flames held amongst them.

Then Ben grabbed one as well, pulling it toward he and Rey as the began to dance with the flame in between them.

Then the Kato, then the rest of the Stormtroopers.

The Resistane fighters and Poe and Kaydel and Rose and Finn. 

All dancing under the lights of the flying glass flames.

_I am an astronaut_   
_A renegade_   
_Tearing through the dark on a new wave_   
_It's ride or die since I know_   
_I'm gonna burn it up, up, up oh_   
_I am the underdog, team juggernaut_   
_Drinking in line to catch a bus_   
_It's ride or die since I know_   
_I'm gonna burn it up, up, up oh_

And if someone were to look down on the scene, or perhaps read this story from a page, here is what they would see.

They would see a group of disparate people, of former slaves and Knights, darks and lights.

Using a previously feared power to light up a room of people of different colors and backgrounds, and yes, species.

While they danced to a song from a different time, in a different Galaxy.

And while this story does not have an ending, in this chapter of the Universe, we find these people at peace.

Dancing together as family, friends and lovers.

Before the next adventure takes hold.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story would not have been possible without a long list of people so here we go.  
> Thank you....  
> To all of the readers who have taken the time to comment, Kudos, or just enjoy this story...  
> To Star Wars and everyone who makes that story possible. This Fic would never have been finished without you...  
> To a kind hearted cross eyed boy, who I know would sacrifice anything for the love of his life...  
> To a boy and a girl whom I have known since I was very very young. I was so happy to meet you again in a galaxy far far away...  
> To the most beautiful, iron willed young woman I have had the pleasure of knowing. You kick ass in real life and in fiction...  
> To a man who even at his sickest, cannot forget his love for a certain black haired artist....  
> To a young woman who I have the pleasure of calling not just a friend but a sister....  
> To a man who has been friend, enemy and lover. I was thrilled to meet you again at a different time, on a different path...  
> To Ayana, who is very much a part of me, as I am a part of her. I am glad we have both finally found peace....
> 
> And to everyone, whether in a Galaxy far, far away. Or just here on planet earth, here is what I want you to take away from this story.  
> You are not your weakness  
> No matter how different you may be, you can always come home  
> There will never be a love more real than the love you have for your friends  
> And, when adventure comes to you, always follow it.  
> You never know where it may lead...


End file.
